Have you ever felt the pressure – whether from coaches, other parents, or even yourself – that your daughter has to pick one sport and stick with it?

Maybe you’ve heard, “If she doesn’t specialize now, she’ll never get a scholarship,” or “She needs to focus on one position to make the travel team.” Sound familiar?

As a coach, I’ve seen it happen younger and younger: athletes feeling like they have to narrow down to one sport or one position early in their athletic journey. And while we’ve all heard the warnings – specializing too soon can lead to injuries, burnout, and even missing out on the joy of sports – it’s hard to ignore the fear that if we don’t push specialization, our kids will fall behind.

So, how do we navigate this?

I recently sat down with Carrie Dever Boaz, a longtime coach, sports parent, and part of Extra Inning Softball, an organization that helps athletes, parents, and coaches navigate the world of competitive sports. Carrie’s insights? Pure gold.

This conversation turned into a sports parenting masterclass, and I’m breaking it all down for you here.

What Does Specialization Really Mean?

When we talk about specialization, it can mean two things: choosing a single sport to focus on or even narrowing down to a specific position within that sport. Both happen increasingly earlier these days. I’ve seen kids as young as 9 or 10 being asked to pick their one sport. Honestly, I think, what happened to just being a kid? These little ones were in diapers just a few years ago!

From a parent’s perspective, I get why this happens. Sports can be expensive, and focusing on one sport might seem like a way to manage time and finances better. But from a coaching and athlete development standpoint, early specialization isn’t always the best path. Kids need exposure to multiple sports to develop a broad range of skills and to keep their love for playing alive.

The Early Specialization Trend: What’s Driving It?

Over the past decade, I’ve noticed a significant shift in youth sports culture. Parents and coaches are increasingly encouraging kids to specialize in a single sport, and often a single position, at younger and younger ages. This trend is fueled by several factors:

✅ Competitive Pressure. With travel teams, club leagues, and showcases, there’s a perception that specializing early gives your child a competitive edge.

✅ College Recruiting. Parents hear stories about athletes getting recruited in middle school or early high school, so they think early specialization is the ticket to scholarships.

✅ Time and Money. It might seem more manageable to focus on one sport rather than juggling multiple seasons and commitments.

✅ Social Influence. When other kids are specializing, it can feel like your child will be left behind if she doesn’t do the same.

But here’s the thing: early specialization is not the only path to success. In fact, many elite athletes didn’t specialize until their mid to late teens. The key is balancing skill development with enjoyment and overall athletic growth.

The Real Cost of Early Specialization

Carrie shared some eye-opening truths about what happens when kids specialize too soon.

First, their bodies suffer. Research shows that young athletes who focus on one sport too early are at a higher risk for overuse injuries. Carrie mentioned that in softball, players don’t even hit their prime until around age 26; so why are we asking 12-year-olds to commit to one sport forever?

Second, their love for the game can fade. When sports become a high-pressure, year-round job, kids lose the joy of playing. Carrie’s daughter loved volleyball, but when her high school coach pressured her to choose between volleyball and softball, she had to give it up. Carrie still wonders if that was the right call.

Third, they miss out on being well-rounded athletes. Some of the best college athletes Carrie coached were multi-sport players. They brought different skills, perspectives, and physical strengths to the game because they hadn’t been stuck in one sport their whole lives.

The Power of Multi-Sport Participation

Playing multiple sports gives kids a chance to develop different muscle groups, improve overall athleticism, and avoid repetitive stress injuries. It also keeps things fun and fresh. When kids try different sports, they learn how to handle wins, losses, and new challenges in different environments, which builds resilience.

From my own experience as a three-sport athlete in high school, I can tell you it made me a better softball player later on. I was able to bring skills from basketball and volleyball that helped me on the softball field. Plus, it kept my love for sports alive because I wasn’t burned out on just one thing.

Navigating the Pressure to Specialize

The pressure to specialize often comes from well-meaning coaches, parents, and even other kids. Everyone wants to see your daughter succeed, but it can feel overwhelming. Here’s what I recommend:

✅ Focus on enjoyment first. Does your daughter love playing the sport? Does she look forward to practices and games? If the answer is yes, that’s a great foundation.

✅ Build skills gradually. Help her develop a broad skill set by playing multiple sports or trying different positions within her sport.

✅ Communicate openly. Talk with your daughter about how she feels about her sports journey. Is she excited? Frustrated? Burned out? Your support and listening ear are crucial.

✅ Set realistic expectations. Remember that early specialization doesn’t guarantee success, and many elite athletes didn’t specialize until later.

The Mental Side: Building Resilience Through the “Messy Middle”

Learning any new skill – whether it’s hitting a curveball or mastering a dance routine – is rarely a straight line. There are frustrating moments, mistakes, and times when progress seems to stall. I call this the “messy middle,” and it’s where many kids decide to quit.

That’s why mental training is so important. Teaching athletes how to manage frustration, stay focused, and control what they can control makes all the difference. For example, one of my mentees used visualization techniques to calm her nerves before games. Another learned to reframe mistakes as learning opportunities rather than failures.

A mom in our Elite Mental Game community, Pauline, shared how her daughters used mental training techniques to get through tough patches in competitive dance. One daughter decided to stick with it because she learned to manage frustration and focus on what she could control. The other daughter might quit, but she’ll make that decision based on true enjoyment, not just frustration with learning.

Parents and coaches can support this by:

✅ Encouraging a growth mindset: Praise effort and improvement, not just outcomes.

✅ Modeling calmness and positivity, especially during tough moments.

✅ Helping athletes set small, achievable goals to build confidence.

This is the ideal outcome: your athlete has the skills to navigate challenges and decides to continue because she genuinely loves the sport, not because she’s stuck or overwhelmed.

How to Handle Pressure from Coaches

If your daughter’s coach is pushing her to specialize – whether in a sport or a position – here’s what Carrie suggests:

✅ First, remember that you have power. There are hundreds of teams and coaches out there. If one isn’t a good fit, you can find another. Carrie compared it to hiring a babysitter: “You wouldn’t keep a terrible babysitter just because she’s close by, would you?”

✅ Second, teach your athlete to communicate. Instead of complaining at home, encourage your daughter to talk to her coach. Carrie’s rule: “If something bothers you, sleep on it. If you still feel strongly the next day, ask for a meeting.”

✅ Third, advocate without bulldozing. Carrie’s approach? Stand behind your child while they talk to the coach. If they get too emotional, step in and say, “This is what she’s feeling. Can you help us understand your perspective?”

The Role of Parents: Advocates, Not Pressure Makers

As a sports mom myself, I know how easy it is to get caught up in the excitement and expectations. But our role is to be advocates for our daughters’ happiness and health, not to live out our own dreams or fears.

That means celebrating effort, supporting rest and recovery, and encouraging balance between sports, school, and social life. It means listening more than lecturing and helping your athlete find her own path.

Final Thoughts for Sports Moms

At the end of the day, Carrie reminded us of what really matters:

Sports are about more than scholarships. They’re about life lessons: perseverance, teamwork, handling pressure, and bouncing back from failure.

You only get 18 summers with your kid. Make them count. Enjoy the car rides, the hotel stays, the wins, and even the losses.

Faith and family come first. No matter what happens on the field, your job is to love your child fiercely, even when you screw up.

Want more? For additional resources on navigating youth sports, check out Extra Inning Softball and follow them on Instagram @extrainningsoftball for drills, recruiting advice, and mental performance tips. If you’re looking for mental training tools for both you and your athlete, our Elite Mental Game (EMG) program has helped countless athletes push through burnout and rediscover their love of their sport. You’ve got this, mama!

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Introduction to Early Specialization. The topic of early specialization in youth sports and the pressures parents face to have their kids focus on one sport or position too soon.

[00:01:09] Meet Carrie Dever Boaz. Introduction of Carrie, a longtime coach, sports parent, and representative of Extra Inning Softball, who shares her expertise on navigating youth sports.

[00:01:53] Shoutout to EMG Community. Acknowledgment of the Elite Mental Game (EMG) program and how it helps athletes and parents manage the mental side of sports, including burnout and confidence.

[00:04:35] Carrie’s Background & Experience. Carrie shares her journey as a multi-sport athlete, college coach, and sports parent, highlighting her unique perspective on youth sports.

[00:06:51] The Mission of Extra Inning Softball. Carrie explains how Extra Inning Softball supports athletes, parents, and coaches with resources, rankings, and mentorship programs like the Commit Crew.

[00:09:54] Understanding Power Four Conferences. Carrie breaks down what “Power Four” means in college athletics and how NIL (Name, Image, Likeness) deals are changing the landscape.

[00:12:29] Defining Specialization in Sports. Discussion on what specialization really means – whether it’s focusing on one sport or one position – and why it’s becoming more common at younger ages.

[00:15:15] The Risks of Early Specialization. Carrie explains the physical and mental downsides of specializing too soon, including burnout, injuries, and missing out on being a well-rounded athlete.

[00:17:32] High School vs. Club Sports. The differences between high school and elite club sports, and why both experiences are valuable for young athletes.

[00:21:34] When to Specialize (Naturally). Carrie’s advice on letting specialization happen organically, usually around ages 12-14, while still encouraging multi-sport participation.

[00:23:47] Handling Pressure from Coaches. How parents can advocate for their kids without overstepping, and why communication between athletes and coaches is crucial.

[00:27:54] The Importance of Failure. Why letting kids fail is essential for growth, and how parents can reframe setbacks as learning opportunities.

[00:30:49] Parenting Wisdom: Love & Let Them Struggle. Carrie’s heartfelt advice on parenting young athletes—loving hard, celebrating failures, and keeping family bonds strong.

[00:35:00] What If We’ve Already Specialized Too Much? Practical steps for parents who feel their child has specialized too early, including finding the right team and teaching communication skills.

[00:40:03] Avoiding “Lawnmower Parenting”. The dangers of overprotecting kids in sports and why letting them face challenges builds resilience.

[00:41:56] Where to Find More from Carrie. How to connect with Carrie through Extra Inning Softball, the Voices from the Field podcast, and other resources.

[00:43:39] Closing Thoughts. Coach Bre wraps up with gratitude for Carrie’s insights and encouragement for parents navigating youth sports.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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