What if your daughter’s biggest opponent isn’t on the field, but in her own mind?

As a sports mom, you’ve seen it – the frustration in her eyes, the slump in her shoulders, the way one mistake turns into an entire game of self-doubt. She’s talented, driven, and capable, but something holds her back. And it’s not her physical skills. It’s the fear, the pressure, the perfectionism that makes her hesitate when it matters most. You see it happening, and it breaks your heart.

What if I told you that what’s going on in her head is more important than any skill she’s practicing on the field?

This blog is based on a live training I hosted for sports moms just like you. In it, I shared exactly what you can do to help your daughter build confidence, bounce back from mistakes, and stop holding herself back – not just in her sport, but in life. Let’s get started!

Why Mental Training Matters for Your Athlete

Before we dive into the “how,” let’s talk about why mental training is important. I know as a mom, you’ve probably had countless conversations with your daughter where you’re telling her, “You’re good enough,” or “You’ve got the skills, you just need confidence.” Sound familiar? If so, you’re not alone.

Many young athletes struggle to perform in games as well as they do in practice. They might beat themselves up after a mistake, or let one mistake spiral into two or three. Maybe they’re perfectionists, setting unrealistically high expectations for themselves. The truth is, physical talent and practice aren’t always enough. The mental game is what helps athletes bounce back from mistakes, deal with pressure, and build the confidence they need to perform at their best.

But here’s the key: mental training doesn’t happen in a vacuum. And that’s where you come in. Your role as a parent is not just to cheer from the sidelines but to help shape the mindset and environment that fuels your daughter’s confidence. Let’s talk about how you can influence her mental game in a positive way.

The Role of Parents in Mental Training

Parents play a crucial role in their athlete’s mental training. As a mom, you’re not just responsible for supporting her physical training – you also shape the environment that influences her confidence and mental strength. In fact, how you approach your own mindset and self-talk can have a significant impact on your daughter’s mental game.

Your verbal and nonverbal communication sets the tone. What you say to your daughter – before, during, and after games – helps shape her confidence. Phrases like “You’ve got this,” or “I believe in you” create a safe, supportive space for her to build mental resilience. But it goes beyond just what you say to her. Your nonverbal communication, like your body language, can also send powerful messages about how you handle challenges and setbacks.

Here’s a key point: your daughter’s self-talk is often influenced by yours. If you’re hard on yourself, criticizing your own abilities or appearance, she might internalize those messages. Even if you’re telling her she’s smart, strong, and capable, if she hears you say things like “I’m not good enough,” or “I can’t do this,” she could start to believe those things about herself too.

Remember: Your self-talk and what you say out loud becomes your daughter’s inner voice.

So how can you improve your own self-talk and create a positive environment for your athlete? Start by becoming aware of the messages you’re sending. Shift your own internal dialogue to be more supportive and compassionate. When you catch yourself saying something negative about your abilities, your body, or your challenges, pause and reframe it. This isn’t just about boosting your own confidence – it’s about modeling healthy self-talk for your daughter.

As a parent, you also provide the opportunities for her mental training. You can help her by enrolling her in programs that focus on mental resilience, encouraging her to practice mental skills like visualization and positive self-talk, and offering her consistent emotional support. Confidence and mental strength don’t develop in isolation – they grow in a supportive, encouraging environment that you help create. We have our kids in sports not just for the wins and losses, but for the much bigger purpose of building life skills.

Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers or do it perfectly. Simply being there for her, listening, and supporting her mental game in a positive way can make a world of difference.

However, while parents play a key role in shaping their athlete’s mental game, it’s easy to fall into certain assumptions about how confidence is built. Many believe that a coach or experience will naturally lead to confidence, or that struggles are just a phase to be outgrown. But, that’s not always the case.

Let’s explore some common misconceptions parents often have and why addressing them is critical to supporting your daughter’s mental game.

Common Misconceptions About Building Confidence in Young Athletes

When it comes to building your daughter’s confidence, it’s easy to fall into certain assumptions that may not be entirely true. Here are some common misconceptions parents often have when trying to support their athlete’s mental game:

• Don’t Rely on Her Coach to Build Her Confidence

“Her coach is saying she has all the physical skills and the talent, but it’s just her confidence holding her back.” 

One of the most common frustrations for parents is hearing that their daughter’s skills are top-notch, but her confidence is what’s keeping her from performing at her best. As a mom, you’re left wondering, “Well, what can I do about that?”

Here’s the thing: while coaches may notice these issues, they often aren’t equipped to address the mental side of the game. It’s not that they don’t care, but most coaches haven’t been trained to teach confidence and mental resilience. That’s where you, as a parent, can step in. Confidence isn’t something that just happens; it’s a skill that needs to be developed intentionally.

If you’ve heard a coach say that your daughter has the talent but lacks the confidence, don’t worry. There are specific steps you can take to help her strengthen that mental muscle, and we’ll dive into those in a moment. 

• More Experience Doesn’t Always Equal More Confidence

“She will naturally build confidence with more experience.” 

It’s easy to believe that confidence will come with time and experience, but that’s not always the case. In fact, waiting for confidence to “just happen” can leave your daughter stuck in a cycle of self-doubt.

Think about it this way: expecting her confidence to grow just by playing more games is like tossing her into the deep end of a pool and expecting her to swim without lessons. Confidence isn’t built simply by playing more or reaching the next level – it needs to be taught.

As your daughter moves up in her sport, the pressure often increases rather than decreases. More games, tougher competition, and higher stakes mean that if she doesn’t have the tools to handle the pressure now, she’s going to struggle even more as she advances. 

• Don’t Assume It’s Just a Phase

“It’s just a phase. It’s going to get better eventually.”

Many parents think their daughter’s struggles with confidence or perfectionism are just phases she’ll outgrow, but here’s the hard truth: if she’s having issues with self-doubt or negative self-talk, these won’t magically disappear over time.

As I say to many moms, waiting for things to get better on their own isn’t the answer. Confidence is a skill that needs to be worked on, just like her athletic abilities. Without addressing the mental side of the game, these challenges will persist, and your daughter might continue to hold herself back in both sports and life.

Now that we’ve touched on a few common challenges, let’s dive into the Unstoppable Athlete Method, a proven system for helping athletes strengthen their mental game. This method has helped countless athletes – including my own volleyball team – achieve their best both on and off the field.

The Unstoppable Athlete Method

The Unstoppable Athlete Method is built around three core principles: bouncing back from mistakes quickly, releasing the pressure, and flipping a negative mindset. Let’s take a closer look at each one.

• Bounce Back in a Snap

One of the biggest concerns I hear from parents is how their daughter spirals after making a mistake. Whether it’s on the volleyball court, soccer field, or in gymnastics, athletes often let one mistake turn into a string of errors because they can’t recover quickly. 

The athlete who can bounce back from mistakes the fastest gains the greatest competitive advantage. It’s not about avoiding mistakes altogether—mistakes are inevitable in sports—but rather about recovering from them quickly. 

In many sports, your daughter has just seconds to regroup after a mistake. In volleyball, for example, if she makes a bad pass, she has about 15 seconds before the next serve comes her way. In that time, she needs to reset mentally and physically. But most athletes take much longer to recover, which affects their performance for the rest of the game.

That’s where the Snapback Routine comes in. This routine combines a quick breath, a reset word (like “next” or “move on”), and a physical cue to ground her back in the present. It’s an easy-to-learn system that helps athletes shake off mistakes quickly and get back into the game mentally.

As one mom shared: “Okay, my daughter went from being openly upset on the court to being calm, level-headed. Hey, now she can bounce back faster, and our relationship is stronger.”

• Releasing the Pressure

If your daughter struggles with perfectionism, she’s not alone. Many athletes feel like they have to be perfect all the time, leading to anxiety and hesitation. Your daughter might feel overwhelmed by the expectations she’s set for herself or the pressure she feels from her team, coach, or even herself.

Unfortunately, sports don’t naturally teach athletes how to manage pressure. That’s why it’s essential to help her develop a healthier relationship with the expectations she’s facing. Instead of focusing on being perfect, athletes need to learn how to accept that mistakes will happen and focus on what they can control.

A key part of this process is helping her shift her mindset from “I have to be perfect” to “I’m going to give my best effort, and that’s enough.” It’s about changing the way she thinks about mistakes and performance pressure.

One powerful tool we teach is the ability to notice and shift her thoughts. She doesn’t need to be stuck in a cycle of perfectionism or comparison. For example, if she’s feeling anxious before a game, instead of thinking, “I’m going to mess up,” she can shift her focus to “I’ve prepared for this, and I can handle it.”

• Flipping the Negative Mindset

If your daughter tends to focus on her mistakes rather than her successes, she’s experiencing something called the negativity bias. It’s a natural part of the human brain that focuses more on negative events than positive ones.

You’ve probably seen this play out. After a game, she’ll fixate on the one or two things she did wrong, even if she did a dozen things right. She might even turn your compliments into something negative: “You played great!” you say. “Yeah, but I missed that shot,” she responds.

This is where mental training becomes invaluable. We teach athletes to recognize that just because they think something negative doesn’t mean it’s true. The ability to distinguish between thoughts and facts is a crucial skill. By flipping her negative mindset, she can learn to focus on the things she can control and let go of unproductive thoughts.

One of our athletes, Genevieve, shared a great example: “In my soccer game, we were losing, but I changed my attitude.” Instead of focusing on the score, she told herself to stay positive – they ended up scoring three more goals and winning!

The Do’s and Don’ts of Strengthening Her Mental Game

Now that you understand the Unstoppable Athlete Method, let’s get into the practical do’s and don’ts of supporting your daughter’s mental game.

The Do’s:

• Do Create a Supportive Environment. Your role as a parent is to shape the environment around your athlete. Be mindful of what you say to her before, during, and after games. Encourage her effort, not just her results. Phrases like, “I love watching you play” and “I’m proud of how hard you worked” build her confidence without putting extra pressure on her.

• Do Encourage Goal Setting. Help her set goals based on performance and effort, rather than just the outcome. For example, “I want to improve my free-throw percentage” or “I want to be a more vocal leader” are goals she can control. This takes the focus off perfection and puts it on progress.

• Do Help Her Develop a Snapback Routine. The Snapback Routine is a key tool for overcoming mistakes quickly. Teach her to take a quick breath, use a reset word, and have a physical cue (like shaking it off or clapping her hands) to signal to her brain that it’s time to move on.

The Don’ts:

• Don’t Coach from the Stands or Car Ride Home. It’s tempting to give her advice right after the game or from the stands, but resist the urge. Let her process her performance and feelings without adding extra pressure. She knows when she’s made mistakes, and your role is to support, not critique.

• Don’t Expect Perfection. No one is perfect, and expecting your daughter to be flawless in her sport will only add to her anxiety. Focus on her effort and progress, rather than demanding perfection. Confidence comes from knowing she can recover from mistakes, not from avoiding them altogether.

•  Don’t Dismiss Her Feelings. When she’s hard on herself after a game, validate her feelings. Telling her “it’s no big deal” might make her feel like her emotions aren’t valid. Instead, say something like, “I understand why you’re upset. Let’s talk about how you can approach this differently next time.”

Wrapping It All Up: Mental Training Is the Key

Helping your daughter strengthen her mental game is one of the most valuable things you can do as a parent. By focusing on her mindset, resilience, and ability to recover from mistakes, you’re setting her up for success in both sports and life.

Remember, confidence isn’t something that happens overnight. It’s a skill that can be taught, developed, and practiced over time. And with the right tools and strategies, your daughter can reach her full potential – not just in her sport, but in everything she does. Good luck!

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00] Raising Confident and Mentally Strong Girl Athletes. This is a 72-hour special, featuring a live training session on strengthening an athlete’s mental game.

[03:20] Common Challenges Faced by Athletes. Discussing the common concerns of parents about their daughters’ handling of sports and life challenges.

[05:14] Misconceptions About Building Confidence. Debunking common misconceptions about building confidence in athletes, such as relying on coaches or expecting confidence to develop naturally.

[07:56] The Unstoppable Athlete Method. Introducing the Unstoppable Athlete Method, a solution used to coach high school volleyball teams.

[10:38] Bounce Back in a Snap. The Bounce Back in a Snap method, which helps athletes recover from mistakes quickly.

[23:05] Releasing the Pressure Athletes Feel. Discussing the pressure athletes feel, including perfectionism, comparison, and pregame anxiety and understanding the concept of noticing and shifting thoughts to release the pressure.

[34:13] Flipping Negative Mindset. The challenge of athletes turning positive feedback into negative self-talk. Understanding negativity bias and the importance of self-trust in building confidence.

[42:40] The Role of Parents in Mental Training. The importance of parents in shaping their children’s environment and providing opportunities for mental training. And tips for parents to improve their own self-talk and support their children’s mental training.

[42:50] The Elite Mental Game Program. Introducing the Elite Mental Game program, a self-paced mental training system for girl athletes.

[01:08:27] Live Support and Bonuses. Introducing the live support and bonuses included in the Elite Mental Game program.

[01:08:07] Enrollment and Special Offers. Details on how to enroll in the Elite Mental Game program, including the enrollment checkout process.

Next Steps:

• The Elite Mental Game is OPEN for Fall Special Enrollment until Friday, September 27th! Use this link to join with a $400 discount + Bonuses!

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