It’s that time again: tryout season.

The week when moms probably lose more sleep than their athletes do. And honestly? It makes sense. Tryouts are stressful for everyone: athletes, coaches, and yes, parents too.

If you’re deep in that stress or tryouts are just around the corner, this blog is for you. I’m breaking down how you can support your athlete, not just in preparing for tryouts, but in how you talk to and show up for her. Because there’s a lot we can do to help, even while staying out of the way.

A Win Worth Celebrating

Before we get into strategies, I want to give a shout-out to a mom in our community. Nicole recently shared a win with us, one that might not seem like much to the outside world, but to us? Huge.

Nicole’s daughter is a perfectionist. She tends to feel things deeply and worries about letting people down. But after a national team tryout, she came home smiling and said, “Mom, I didn’t cry. That’s a first.”

That’s progress. That’s growth.

For athletes who are more sensitive or emotional, tryouts can feel overwhelming. And while those emotions are part of what makes them wonderful humans, they can sometimes get in the way in high-stress environments. Nicole’s daughter now has the tools to manage those feelings and stay present. That skill isn’t just going to help in sports, it’s a life skill.

Step One: Check Yourself First

Now, let’s talk strategy. And it starts with you. Yep, before you focus on your athlete, take a minute to check in with yourself.

Tryouts bring up nerves, anxiety, and all kinds of emotions for parents. That’s normal. But here’s the key: we don’t want to project those feelings onto our kids.

Ask yourself:

• What kind of stress am I bringing into this?
• Am I chasing a team or level for her, or is this more about my own expectations?

 A lot of the stress we feel as moms comes from wanting our kids to be happy. When our daughter says she wants to make a specific team, and we’re not sure it’s going to happen, the anxiety kicks in. But if we can stay grounded and remind ourselves, this is just tryouts, we show up calmer for our athletes.

Whatever happens, whether they make the team or not, you’re both going to be okay.

Step Two: What Are Her Goals?

This is a good time to check in with your daughter: “What are your goals for these tryouts?”

This question shifts the focus from just making the team to something more empowering, like showing up with confidence or giving her best effort.

Tryouts are basically a showcase. And as a high school coach myself, I can tell you: we coaches don’t love tryouts either. They’re hard on everyone.

When I’m evaluating athletes, yes, I’m looking for specific skills for specific positions. But I’m also looking for the stuff that doesn’t show up in stats:

• How do they bounce back from mistakes?
• Are they encouraging teammates?
• Do they hustle between drills?
• Do they raise their hand to help or volunteer?

All of those things make a difference.

So, while your daughter can’t show skills she doesn’t have yet, she can show up and be the kind of athlete coaches want to work with: resilient, coachable, and team-minded.

Goals vs. Reality

Now, maybe your daughter says something like, “I want to make varsity,” and in your mind, you’re thinking, I don’t know if that’s possible.

You don’t have to burst her bubble. Instead, bring it back to what’s in her control. You can ask:

• What are you doing to prepare?
• What will you focus on during tryouts?
• If it doesn’t work out, what’s your plan B?

Having a backup plan isn’t about being negative, it’s smart. Even if you don’t talk about it right away, keeping other options in mind can ease some pressure later on.

Set Her Up for Success

If tryouts are still a few weeks or months away, use that time. Your athlete should be doing everything offered by the coach or team to prepare, be it workouts, open gyms, meetings, etc. Showing up matters.

But even if it’s just days away, there are still things you can do:

Make sure she knows where the tryout is and how to get there.

Help her prep gear and schedule ahead of time.

Encourage her to focus on effort, attitude, and coachability.

Avoid saying things like:

• “You better make this team.”
• “You should make this team.”
• “You’re way better than that other girl.”

All of that just adds pressure. Instead, keep the focus on her own actions and what she can control. And avoid comparisons. It’s not about anyone else; it’s about her journey.

Build Her Confidence from the Inside

One of the best things you can do is remind your athlete that her worth isn’t tied to sports. Praise who she is outside of tryouts. Highlight her courage, her work ethic, her leadership. This keeps her confidence steady even if the outcome isn’t what she hoped.

Tryouts are just one moment in time. She is still herself, no matter what the list says at the end.

Train Her Mind, Too

Tryouts aren’t just physical, they’re incredibly mental. And often, nerves can keep athletes from showing what they can really do.

If your daughter doesn’t have any mental skills to manage stress or recover from mistakes, now’s the time.

Some easy-to-use tools:

• Breathwork. Help her learn to breathe into her belly and slow her breath when she’s anxious. That regulates her nervous system.
• Visualization. Encourage her to see herself succeeding, hustling, smiling, feeling proud. She’s probably already imagining it, but from a negative angle. Flip the script.
• Self-talk. Have her create simple affirmations like “I’m ready,” or “I belong here.” When her nerves hit, these can ground her.

You can learn more about these tools through our free training at trainhergame.com.

Focus on Her Strengths

Your daughter has specific strengths, so make sure to remind her of those. Tryouts are not the time to fix weaknesses. Instead, it’s a chance to showcase what she does well.

If she’s a great blocker, tell her to own it. Coaches notice standout skills. We don’t expect one athlete to be perfect at everything. We look at where they’ll add the most value.

So, lean into those strengths. 

Mistakes Happen, Bounce Back Fast

One of the top skills we teach in our program is the “Snapback Routine”, a way to move past mistakes quickly.

It’s a mix of breathwork, a reset word or gesture, and a mindset shift. Athletes tell us over and over that this one skill changed their whole experience.

When athletes can shake off a mistake and stay present, they stand out. That’s a powerful skill, not just for tryouts, but for games and life.

What If She Doesn’t Make It?

Tryouts don’t always go the way we hope. There will be some joy, and maybe some heartbreak. That’s part of sports.

But not making the team isn’t the end of the road.

We have to teach our daughters to handle disappointment with resilience, not blame. If your first instinct is to call the coach or point fingers, that sends a message.

Instead, help her say:

• “Okay, this is hard. What are my options?”
• “How can I get better for next time?”
• “What’s one thing I learned from this experience?”

Asking for feedback is reasonable, but let her ask for it. That’s where the growth happens.

Final Thoughts

Mom to mom, I know how hard this season can be. The unknowns, the waiting, the emotions… it’s a lot.

But tryouts aren’t just about making the team. They’re a training ground for life.

So, check your mindset. Support your daughter with what’s in her control. Give her tools to feel steady, confident, and resilient.

No matter the outcome, she’ll walk away stronger. And you’ll both know you did it together with love, not pressure.

Want help building those mental skills? Check out our free training at trainhergame.com. We’ve got your back.

Good luck, moms! You’ve got this.

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Tryout Season = High Stress. Tryouts bring a wave of stress for athletes, coaches, and especially parents. It’s completely normal to feel anxious, but there are ways to handle it well.

[00:00:23] A Win Worth Celebrating. A mom shares her daughter’s emotional win: getting through a national team tryout without tears. It’s proof that emotional growth is just as important as physical skill.

[00:01:47] Start with the Parent. Before helping an athlete, parents should check in with themselves. Acknowledging personal stress and avoiding projection helps create a calmer environment.

[00:02:42] Support vs. Pressure. Parents should reflect on whether they’re supporting their athlete’s goals or accidentally adding pressure by chasing a specific outcome.

[00:03:00] Focus on Her Goals. Instead of assuming what she wants, ask the athlete what her goals are for tryouts. Shifting the focus to effort and pride helps relieve outcome pressure.

[00:03:39] What Coaches Look For. Aside from skills, coaches value resilience, hustle, coachability, and teamwork. These intangibles often make all the difference.

[00:05:03] When the Goal Feels Out of Reach. If the athlete sets a big goal, parents can gently steer the conversation toward effort and backup plans, without crushing her confidence.

[00:05:51] Prepare Where You Can. Preparation matters. Athletes should take part in every opportunity to train before tryouts. Even small steps can make a big impact.

[00:06:49] Watch the Words. Phrases like “You better make the team” only add pressure. Encouragement should stay focused on effort, attitude, and what’s in her control.

[00:07:25] Confidence Outside of Sports. Praising an athlete for who she is, not just what she does, builds a healthy identity that isn’t tied to performance alone.

[00:07:41] Mental Game is the Real Game. Tryouts are mentally demanding. Without tools to manage nerves and recover from mistakes, even skilled athletes can struggle.

[00:08:00] Use Breathwork to Stay Grounded. Teaching athletes how to breathe deeply and calm their bodies is a low-lift, high-impact way to reduce nerves.

[00:08:43] Visualize the Outcome. Positive visualization, seeing success before it happens, helps athletes shift from anxious anticipation to confident execution.

[00:09:00] Anchor in Affirmations. Simple self-talk like “I’m ready” or “I belong here” gives athletes something to lean on in high-pressure moments.

[00:09:34] Highlight Strengths, Not Weaknesses. Tryouts aren’t the time to fix flaws; they’re the time to showcase what’s already strong. Playing to strengths helps athletes stand out.

[00:10:23] Reset Fast With a Snapback Routine. A go-to reset routine helps athletes move on from mistakes quickly, one of the most valuable tools in competitive sports.

[00:11:00] Handling Disappointment. Not making the team isn’t the end of the road. Teaching athletes how to feel disappointment and move forward is key to long-term resilience.

[00:12:09] Let Her Lead the Feedback. If feedback is needed, let the athlete take ownership. It builds confidence and accountability.

[00:12:28] Real Success is in Adaptability. The biggest win from tryouts? Learning to adapt, stay grounded, and keep going no matter what the outcome says.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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