Does your daughter spiral into negative thoughts after a tough game?

You’re not alone. Many parents struggle with how to handle these moments without saying the “wrong” thing. If every car ride home feels like navigating a minefield, this post is for you. In this episode, Coach Bree shares three key strategies to help you support your daughter and rebuild her confidence after a bad performance. Let’s dive into actionable tips that will make a real difference! 

1. Understand What She Needs in the Moment

Your daughter’s post-game experience can be emotional. She might be upset, frustrated, or simply overwhelmed. It’s important to remember:

She doesn’t need critiques or corrections. She already knows what went wrong.

She doesn’t need to hear your opinions about the game. Instead, what she truly needs is space to process and a sense of normalcy.

A great way to help her recover is to create a post-game routine. This can be something simple, like stopping for food together after every game—win or lose. When your daughter knows that your love and connection aren’t tied to her performance, she can relax and reset.

Pro Tip: The post-game car ride is one of the most memorable parts of an athlete’s career—make it a positive one by focusing on connection rather than critique. 

2. Focus on What’s in Her Control

One of the reasons athletes develop anxiety is because they link their self-worth to things outside their control, like scores or stats. When we, as parents, unknowingly reward outcomes (like offering bribes for goals), it teaches them that their value lies in external achievements.

Instead, help your daughter shift her focus to what she can control:

• Her attitude 
• Her effort 
• Her mindset

This shift helps athletes feel empowered, even when the game doesn’t go their way. When they focus on controllables, performance anxiety decreases, and ironically, they perform better.

3. Use the L.O.V.E. Framework

At the heart of building confidence is making sure your daughter knows she is loved—no matter the outcome. Coach Bree introduces the L.O.V.E. framework for post-game conversations:

• L – Listen: Give her space to vent without interruption.
• O – Observe: Pay attention to her emotions. Does she need space or comfort?
• V – Validate: Acknowledge her feelings. “That was tough. It’s okay to feel frustrated.”
• E – Encourage: Remind her of her strengths and that every game is a learning opportunity.

This framework helps create a positive post-game experience and reinforces that her worth isn’t tied to her performance. 

Final Thoughts

Helping your daughter bounce back after a bad game isn’t about fixing her mistakes—it’s about showing up with love and support. When you focus on what’s within her control and stay consistent with routines, she’ll build resilience and confidence.

Remember, there’s nothing she can do on the field that will change how much you love her. Your support plays a huge role in keeping her joy for the sport alive, even during tough moments.

So, the next time she gets in the car after a game, skip the critique. Instead, ask her, “Where do you want to eat?” 

Episode Highlights: 

[00:02:35] Understanding what your athlete really needs after a tough game—why emotional support matters more than advice.

[00:04:40] The power of a consistent post-game routine to stop the negative spiral and build emotional resilience.

[00:06:15] Avoiding common post-game mistakes—how focusing on wins and losses can harm confidence.

[00:08:30] Shifting your athlete’s mindset to focus on what she can control, like effort and attitude, rather than the outcome.

[00:10:15] A deep dive into the LOVE framework—practical steps to guide post-game conversations with empathy and encouragement.

[00:13:45] Helping your athlete bounce back from setbacks and learn to separate self-worth from performance outcomes.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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