This is an eye-opening interview with Lisa, a mom, teacher, and sports performance coach, about her experience in building confidence in (and with!) her daughter.

There’s even a part where I tear up a little… it really touched my heart.

We hope you enjoy the interview!
(you’ll find a not-perfect transcript at the bottom, in case you’re curious what we talked about) 

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AI Assisted Transcript… excuse the errors 🙃

BONUS: Developing Confidence in Her Daughter w/ Lisa, a Mom, Teacher & Sports Performance Coach

[00:00:00] Lisa: And I said, you know, Allie, our last meeting with Christina and Brianna, we, we cannot make. And she was really bummed out. And without me even prompting. She started going on and on about everything that she learned from the program. I was so excited that I didn’t have to prompt her to even ask her, what did she learn or what did she get from the program?

She just did that on her own. I said, here’s my phone. I want you to text bran. And I want you to tell her exactly what you said to me, because I think that’s really valuable. So I’m going to read to you what she texted the other day. 

[00:00:33] Breanne: It makes me a little emotional, but yes. 

[00:00:36] Lisa: So she said, “hi, this is Allie. I won’t be able to join the final session tonight, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the great lessons that you’ve given me throughout the program.

It really helps with my confidence and being more outspoken in school and just in general. Also, I started to try new things and not be so hard on myself without having to be good at all of them. The perfectionism module also made me realize that there’s no point of trying to make no mistakes because that means that I’m not growing and being perfect isn’t a realistic goal. I had a really great experience with the whole program and 

[00:01:11] Breanne: thank you so much. I really does make me so emotional. Thank you for sharing that. That’s like the best compliment we can receive is just that exactly, what Allie said.  

[00:01:23] Kristina: hey there we’re Christina and Brianne and one of our greatest passions is enabling female athletes to uncover their greatness, allowing them to break free from their limitations and achieve their biggest dreams.

[00:01:33] Breanne: As expert coaches and confidence and mindset educators. We created the elite competitor to enable moms and coaches to build lifelong confidence, resilience, and elite. Think of this as your weekly dose of inspiration, where you’ll feel enabled with proven strategies, real life stories and transformative lessons. Welcome to the elite competitor podcast.

All right, everybody. We actually have a super special guest on for today, 

we have Lisa who is joining us and I’m going to have her introduce herself in a little bit, but Lisa’s daughter, Allie recently came through the elite competitor program. And so she’s going to be talking about. Experience and program. And also just her perspective as a mom and also as an athletic development coach herself.

So we’re going to get into it. 

I’m going to bring Lisa in here. Hi, Lisa. 

[00:02:23] Lisa: Hello. Hi, Brad. Thanks for having 

[00:02:25] Breanne: me on. Yes, thank you for being here. Okay, so Lisa, go ahead and introduce yourself.

Tell us a little bit about you and then you’ll get into our questions. Sure. So 

[00:02:34] Lisa: my name is Lisa and my daughter, Allie is 13 years old. And I am a middle school teacher as well. And I teach seventh graders. So this was the first year I actually taught seventh graders and I have a seventh grader.

So that was really interesting. And in my spare time, I am a sports performance coach and I’ve been doing that for a long time. And Allie is a soccer player, a basketball player, a track athlete, and she runs cross country. So that’s a little bit about us. She’s my only daughter. So a little bit spoiled.

[00:03:10] Breanne: I love being a mom. That’s how it is. I have one daughter too, and I feel like it’s going to be the same. Yeah. That’s a lot of sports to Allie play. That’s so great. We have a lot of multi-sport athletes that come through the program and I think it’s just wonderful, like so many good benefits to playing multiple sports.

Yeah. Yeah. All right. So why did you have Allie join the elite competitive program? 

[00:03:30] Lisa: So Allie started playing. Competitive sports, probably around the age of 10, she had done some rack and then she made her way up to travel soccer when she was about 10 or 11 and con you know, compared to a lot of the other girls, she did start a little bit later, so she.

I would say around sixth grade is when I noticed that she really started making a break from being super energized and excited about playing to just really getting into the compare game. And she was comparing herself to the other girls in the team. She pretty much had convinced herself that all the girls had been playing much longer than she had, and she just was not as good as them.

And she wasn’t up to par. And she really did solidify the belief that well, like playing three years, mom and I should be a lot better than I am. And I noticed that when she was going into games, instead of being excited about going into games, she was questioning herself saying things like, you know, what if I do bad and what if I mess up?

And and then after the game, just not always feeling good about herself. So I did. And in that, you know, year and a half from elementary to middle school dropping confidence comparing herself and and really not having as much fun as you want. Prior to sixth grade. You know, and it’s, it was really hard for me because as I said, I’m a middle school teacher and I’m a, a coach.

And so I work with kids all the time. And so I’m used to helping them through these phases of their life. But when it came to Allie, it was about a year and a half. I just felt like I was stuck. I felt like anything. I said anything I did. It just wasn’t like the right thing to say. I felt like, you know, I didn’t know how to help her.

And so I knew that, you know, I had seen other mindset programs and other Facebook ads. So what caught my attention was that it was a ma it was a mother daughter program. And I thought that was really unique because I had never seen anything like that before.

And it was how to get your daughter to be more confident. And I thought, you know what? I clicked on the ad and I read through all the programs next and I saw all the modules and all the different. You know, lessons that you would be teaching. And one of the lessons was how to crush your limiting beliefs and how to deal with perfectionism.

And I thought, geez, this is, this is a program for Allie. And so I knew if I was stuck helping her, I felt like a program like this could, and it definitely did. 

[00:06:09] Breanne: And so we signed on. Hmm. That’s awesome. Thank you for trusting us and taking that leap. I know that sometimes that’s hard, you know, you’re like, you don’t really know what to expect.

And yeah. And I just love your story, Lisa, because I think that a lot of moms can relate with that. And when you start to notice moms. Because I’ve experienced it as an athlete too. You know, if your daughter stops kind of having that fun, that excitement, you know, our sports, aren’t always fun. Right.

We have to do hard things, but you start to notice that, and then I love that you paid attention to that. And you’re like, you know, this is, this is something to pay attention to. If my, if my daughter’s not enjoying what she’s doing, there’s something going on. So yeah. So you had her join one of our Facebook ads working Facebook ads, or, you know, so I’m happy to hear that the one of them worked.

And what changes did you notice in Allie after she joined? 

[00:06:59] Lisa: So one of the things I noticed was that she was really starting to think about the way she was thinking. Hmm. Yeah. And she wasn’t doing that before. She was kind of like on that autopilot and she had programmed herself to just think negatively about her performance before it even happens.

And so I loved that. In every single one of the lessons and modules, there were so many great reflection questions where she had to really think about what am I thinking and what does that mean and is what I’m thinking, serving me, or is it not? And then if it’s not, how do I change that? And so I saw her really just thinking about the way she was thinking, which is really cool because even adults have a hard time with that.

Absolutely. Yeah. 

[00:07:47] Breanne: And 

[00:07:47] Lisa: then, so. You know, through the activities and through the guided lessons. We love that every week. First of all, we got to join, you know, meetings, live meetings, which was really neat. And then just Allie got to meet you up close and personal and the other girls. And being in the room with other girls who felt just like her, it makes you feel like you’re not alone in this. I thought that was really helpful. But she ha she received in every single lesson tools and strategies, whatever that particular lesson was, or that theme was that she could immediately. And to whether it was school or her practice or her game.

And so I did see her, you know, start taking some of those tools and strategies and implementing them into her games and, or, or her practices. You know, like having a pregame routine, which I’ve not had before or pre-practice routine. And a lot of, one of the things that she really loved were the guided visualizations.

You know, I noticed that she we, you know, every Thursday was our night to sign on and look at each new module and it was like our mom daughter, little thing that we would do. Yeah. And so Even just something as basic as setting goals, which I tried to get her to do at the start of COVID, you know, when we were locked out and he had a lot of time on our hands, I said, you know, this is the time maybe we should set some goals.

And she really had a hard time setting goals. And I found that interesting. And I asked her to write down. No, all of her strengths and she had a hard time finding even just one strength about herself. And that really floored me. And that’s when I realized she probably was dealing with some perfectionism.

So just setting goals and then just having the two or three simple goals that she could focus on before she went into a competition or just throughout the week, I thought that was really valuable. But yeah, from start to finish between the activities between the journaling, which I think she really found a lot of value in.

She has probably a whole notebook filled of notes from the modules, which she had not been doing that before. And then the guided visualizations, which she will go back to from time to time. Even right before a game. Those are some of the things that she found really valuable. And I told her the last meeting that you had, we had a prior commitment and we couldn’t make it.

And I said, you know, Allie, our last meeting with Christina and Brianna, we, we cannot make. And she was really bummed out. And without me even prompting. She started going on and on about everything that she learned from the program. I was so excited that I didn’t have to prompt her to even ask her, what did she learn or what did she get from the program?

She just did that on her own. I said, here’s my phone. I want you to text bran. And I want you to tell her exactly what you said to me, because I think that’s really valuable. So I’m going to read to you what she texted the other day. 

[00:10:39] Breanne: It makes me a little emotional, but yes. 

[00:10:42] Lisa: So she said, “hi, this is Allie. I won’t be able to join the final session tonight, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the great lessons that you’ve given me throughout the program.

It really helps with my confidence and being more outspoken in school and just in general. Also, I started to try new things and not be so hard on myself without having to be good at all of them. The perfectionism module also made me realize that there’s no point of trying to make no mistakes because that means that I’m not growing and being perfect isn’t a realistic goal. I had a really great experience with the whole program and 

[00:11:17] Breanne: thank you so much. I really does make me so emotional. Thank you for sharing that. That’s like the best compliment we can receive is just that exactly, what Allie said. So, so amazing. Ha yeah, I’m getting my hot 

[00:11:33] Lisa: I definitely think that the one area that she was stuck was feeling like that she couldn’t make any money.

And then in the mistake ritual module and growing from failure she really let that go. You know, she really let go of having to be perfect and that she couldn’t make mistakes and that mistakes are just part of playing sports and part of life and that. And so now we kind of have a joke and I ask her when she come, when she would come home from school, Or just every now and then I’ll say, Hey Allie, what did you, what did you fail at today?

Mistake with today? And I said, you know what that means? And she’s like, it means I’m going to be growing and learning forward. And so I just, I thought that was huge. 

[00:12:13] Breanne: I like that. I love that. You’re framing that. We’re trying that with our three-year-old too. And she’s like, I didn’t make any mistakes. I’m like, you’re supposed to say.

Yeah. But I love that. I that’s so great. Yeah. What would you say, like from the parent perspective or even well, we’ll get into kind of a sports development part, but what was worth the price of admission in the program from your perspective? 

[00:12:34] Lisa: Just the fact that one I, I, I don’t, well, parents in general don’t have a playbook on how to help their children through.

You know, rough phases. And for me now it’s teenage years and teenagers, you know, when they hit middle school, they do dip in their confidence and, and their south self-doubt the soar. And I just felt like I didn’t know what to do anymore. I felt like I was stuck and there were barriers. And I knew that she can move forward.

It’s just, I wasn’t saying the right thing. And so I felt like there was a systematic approach to from module one all the, which was I think module one was setting the vision to. Having a daily mindset routine, you know, what ha what do I do when I make mistakes in the game, all the way to perfectionism and stress management, I felt like it was so well organized.

And there were so many actionable tools and strategies that she could take with her right then and there that second and implement the next day in a game or practice that I wasn’t. Giving her or giving her the right message, I should say. I thought that besides the lessons and the tools and the strategies, there were so many more like little ad-ons that you gave that.

So that’s why besides having those eight lessons where each lesson was guided a guided video with. And she has those lessons for a lifetime. I believe that we can go back and revisit whenever we need to, which, which we’ve been doing. There were a lot of extras that you have vision board party.

You can try and get her to do a vision board for a long time. And she now has a vision board that she has. Above her 

[00:14:13] Breanne: bed. Oh gosh. That’s awesome 

[00:14:16] Lisa: that, you know, you have the nutritionist on who was young and cool. And she, I didn’t, I didn’t know how she was going to, you know, receive that, but she was, she had learned a lot from the nutrition meeting as well.

And then he had all these little extra playbooks for. I love the playbook that you offered with what to say before, during and after competition. I use that all the time and I actually share it with my friends, her age. And then there was the even there was the playbook on what to say to your coach when you’re not getting enough playing time.

And if I’m a five step approach on, on how to approach your coach, if you want more playing time, and if you’re. You know, if you’re not satisfied on your team it was not only worth the price of admission. It was like then some, and it was a great investment. It’s one of the best, best investments that I’ve made with one of these programs, you know, and I have signed onto a lot of online programs.

And so I just feel like not only for Allie, but for parents as well, like I know I sat. On Thursday night with Allie and I was taking notes too, and I was learning with her and I feel like, you know, I was coaching myself through this. So, and the fact that we got to do it together, I thought was just really neat and really unique.

And I also liked that you were able to split the you know, the payments in, in three separate parts I thought, which was really helpful. But it’s absolutely. I would recommend it to any parent, not only who has an athlete, who may be struggling with negative thinking or confidence, but just to hear us in general, who have teenagers.

[00:15:47] Breanne: Yeah, you’re right. It’s I mean, we use sports as the vehicle, right. Because that’s kind of a tangible. Representation of what our, what our athletes do, but I mean, you hit the nail on the head. This is like confidence for their life. So yeah. Oh my gosh, Lisa, I am just loving everything you’re saying. And I just feel honored that you, you know, you took a risk on us and you know that you and Allie were able to have this special time together over the past eight weeks.

Like that is that’s really special. Yup. Yeah. And I hear you, when you say like, you know, I’ve been trying to get my daughter to do this and, you know, over and over. And then when she goes to the program, all sudden she does it. And that’s why I know when my daughter gets to be in middle school, I’m going to send her like to you because I know she’s not going to listen to it for me.

Yeah. It’s, you know, there’s 

[00:16:34] Lisa: just something about an, and I know this because my dad was my coach and. And so, and that was tough. And even though I look back now and I thought, wow, I had that resource in the moment. No matter what your parents says, you just always feel judged by that. It could be the right thing.

It could be the perfect thing to say, but when it’s coming from a parent, it does feel like a judgment. And so it was really nice to step outside and let somebody else do that for her. 

[00:17:04] Breanne: Yeah. And then you got to be like the support and like the encourager. Yeah, so cool. We kind of hit on the last one about, you know, what would you tell other moms or coaches who are considering joining?

So you can speak to that or just anything else that you want to add before we wrap up this awesome interview. 

[00:17:19] Lisa: Yeah. I, I just think that you know, th this is not something that’s taught in schools mental training, and I think it should be taught in every school. I mean, I would love to see, bring your program even to schools.

It’s. You know, kids and coaches and parents, like I said before, we don’t have a playbook and you kind of just do what you learn growing up. And it’s usually not always the right thing, you know, like just, you know, tough it out or just let it go or, you know, just calm down and those things don’t work.

And so I would definitely say that. Having tools and having strategies for how to think better, and how to feel better about yourself and how to perform better just carries over in so many ways besides on the, on the athletic field. And I know Allie is going to be able to use a lot of these tools and strategies for the rest of her life.

And not just in sports in school, you know, in her relationships. And, and hopefully she continues her athletics. 

[00:18:18] Breanne: Yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. Oh my gosh. Lisa is so good. I can’t wait to hear, you know, how Allie continues to do, like, not just like you said, in her athletic career, but just in her life. I know she has a ton of great support, but you know, hopefully these tools just add to that.

So definitely. Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on., your feedback is invaluable. I hope it’s helpful to other parents who are considering joining.

And like I said, I just can’t. Thank you enough. It’s been such a good experience having you, you and ally in the program. Well, we thank you. 

[00:18:50] Lisa: And we we learned a lot and we really appreciate you know, all your hard work and all the great information. So. 

[00:18:58] Breanne: Yes. You’re welcome. All right. Well, I will see you later, Lisa, thank you again.

I hope you enjoyed that interview with Lisa, a mom, a middle school teacher and sports performance coach, as she shared all about her and her daughter Allie’s experience in the elite competitive program, hearing stories like this is the reason we do everything. If your daughter is in middle school, high school, or even college, the elite competitive program, it’s her opportunity to develop her mental game into her biggest competitive advantage.

We only opened the doors if you times, each year. And we would love to see you both inside that’s all for today. Talk to you soon.