#25: Help Your Daughter Stay Motivated Without Straining Your Relationship

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I often meet with athletes who say that they struggle to stay motivated and parents who say that they have a hard time motivating their daughters.

Usually this is in relation to something physical – like doing the workout, staying on track with habits. But it can also be the mental game practices and habits, specifically those we build in The Elite Competitor Program to build unshakeable confidence and belief in herself.

And usually it also comes in an “off-season” period…when athletes don’t have as much structure like practice/training to determine their day.

What is Motivation?

Motivation is a FEELING. Feelings come and go. We don’t actually want our daughter to rely on motivation to do anything because we know that will power and motivation can only last so long.

Motivation comes AFTER Action!

When it comes down to it, we can’t get anyone to do anything. The only person we can control is ourselves.

We want to be careful because we can easily strain the relationship if we nag and “make” our daughters do things they don’t want to do.

The BEST is when it’s driven by HER. When it’s driven by the parent, it’s where burnout happens the most.

Here’s what you can do now:

1. Know her goals/values

  1. Ask her what her big goals are
  2. Listen without judgement, encourage her goals
  3. Then, ask: What do you think you need in order to get there? Who do you need to BE in order to achieve that?
    1. Let her be the guide in coming up with a plan
  4. Ask: What support do you need from me?
    1. Really listen to what she has to say!

2. Know what she values

  1. Winning/being the best -> Make it competitive
  2. Having fun -> Make it fun!
  3. Friendships -> Get her an accountability partner
  4. Lists/Achievements -> Calendar/accountability system

You can really help create a supportive, encouraging, and inspiring environment by supporting your daughter in these ways and helping to enable her to take her own action and create her own motivation.


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