Have you ever been stuck in that awkward pre-game moment with your athlete where she’s nervous, irritable, and absolutely not in the mood for your “pep talk”?
You open your mouth to say something encouraging… and suddenly, her eyes glaze over. Or worse, she snaps at you. Now you’re standing there like, “Cool. Guess I’ll just… not talk?”
Here’s the truth: What you say (or don’t say) before the game can make or break her confidence. But most parents accidentally make things worse with long speeches, last-minute coaching, or nervous energy.
Good news: You don’t need a psychology degree to fix this.
Below, I’m giving you 5 quick, game-changing phrases to use before she competes. These aren’t fluff. They’re tested with real athletes (like the mom who used one before her daughter scored a goal!).
Steal these, tweak ‘em, and watch her walk onto the field/court with way more confidence.
What Your Athlete Doesn’t Need Before the Game
First, let’s cut the worst pre-game habits (that most parents don’t realize hurt more than help):
Pep talks. Nope. She’s not listening.
Last-minute coaching. “Remember to keep your elbow up!” = extra pressure.
Your nerves. She feels your anxiety, even if you think you’re hiding it.
What does she need? Short, simple reminders that keep her focused on what she controls.
5 Quick Confidence Boosters (Use These Tonight!)
These phrases work because they cut through the noise and keep your athlete focused on what she can control; not the pressure, not the opponent, just her game. They’re short, repeatable, and designed to stick in her mind when she needs them most.
- “Trust Your Training.”
Why it works: It’s a simple reminder that she’s prepared. No last-minute fixes, no overthinking, just “You’ve done the work. Now go let it show.” This phrase shifts her focus from “What if I mess up?” to “I’m ready for this.”
- “Nerves Mean This Matters.”
Why it works: Nervous energy isn’t the enemy, it’s fuel. Instead of fighting it, this reframes those jitters as proof she cares. It’s science-backed: adrenaline sharpens focus. Say it early so she can channel that energy into her game.
- “You’re Not Alone, We’ve Got Your Back.”
Why it works: Big games can feel isolating, especially if she’s in her head. This reassures her that her team (and you!) are with her. It’s not about pressure, it’s about support.
- “I Love to Watch You Play.”
Why it works: No strings attached. No critique, no “next time” – just pure support. For athletes who tie their worth to performance, this one lifts the weight off their shoulders.
- “Don’t Suck.” (Or “Go Be [Her Name]!”)
Why it works: Humor disarms pressure. If you’ve got a playful dynamic, a lighthearted line like this can snap her out of overthinking. Not your style? Swap it for “Be [Her Name] out there!” – a reminder to play like herself, not someone else’s expectations.
Pro Tip: Pick one to start with, the one that feels most natural for your athlete. Repeat it consistently so it becomes part of her pre-game routine.
The Golden Rule: Keep It Short and Calm
Your job before the game isn’t to give a pep talk, it’s to be a steady anchor. The more you ramble, the more her nerves can spiral. Here’s how to keep it simple and effective:
- Pick 1 Phrase and Stick with It
Repetition is key. When she hears the same phrase before every game, it becomes a trigger for confidence, like flipping a mental switch. Over time, those words will automatically remind her, “I’ve got this.”
- Say It Early (Timing Matters!)
Waiting until the last second? Bad move. By then, her brain is already in game mode. Instead:
Car ride to the game: Plant the seed early.
During warm-ups: Reinforce it casually.
Avoid right before tip-off/whistle: She needs space to lock in.
- Pair It with a Deep Breath
Your energy is contagious. If you’re tense, she’ll feel it. So:
Take a slow breath before you speak.
Keep your tone easy, like you’re reminding her to grab her water bottle.
Smile. It signals, “This is just another day, no big deal.”
Why This Works:
Short phrases = less overthinking. Calm delivery = less pressure. You’re not trying to fix her nerves, just reminding her she’s ready.
What’s More Important Than Pre-Game?
The car ride home.
Most athletes remember post-game car rides… and not fondly. “Why’d you miss that pass?” or “Next time, try—” can crush confidence fast.
Ready to put this into action?
Pick one phrase and try it tonight, then DM me @EliteCompetitorCoach or email hello@elitecompetitor.com to tell me how it went! And don’t forget: the real game-changer happens after the game. Grab my free LOVE Framework and 25 phrase cheatsheet at trainhergame.com to nail those post-game conversations too.
The right words beat perfect words every time. Now you’ve got them, go use ‘em. Good luck!
Episode Highlights:
[00:00:00] Introduction to the power of pre-game phrases for nervous athletes.
[00:01:16] Success story from mom Jamie about using these techniques.
[00:02:22] What NOT to say before games (pep talks, last-minute coaching).
[00:03:17] The 3 rules for effective pre-game phrases: short, simple, controllable.
[00:04:02] Phrase 1: “Trust Your Training” – the preparation reminder.
[00:04:43] Phrase 2: “Nerves Mean This Matters” – reframing anxiety.
[00:04:57] Phrase 3: “You’re Not Alone” – team support assurance.
[00:05:39] Phrase 4: “I Love to Watch You Play” – unconditional support.
[00:06:29] Phrase 5: “Don’t Suck” – using humor to lighten the mood.
[00:07:22] Why post-game conversations matter more than pre-game.
[00:07:56] Free resource announcement: LOVE Framework at trainhergame.com.
[00:08:22] Call to action: Try one phrase and share your results.
Next Steps:
- Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
- Visit our podcast website for more great episodes
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