It’s one of the hardest moments a sports parent can face:

watching your child get cut from a team. The sting of rejection, the tears, the frustration… It’s heartbreaking. You want to fix it, to make it better, to shield them from the pain. But deep down, you know you can’t. And that’s the hardest part.

If you’re reading this because your athlete just got cut, take a deep breath. You’re not alone, and this isn’t the end. In fact, it might just be the beginning of something even greater.

Let’s talk about how to help your athlete navigate this tough moment, reframe the narrative, and come back stronger than ever.

Step 1: Give Them Space to Feel

When your athlete gets cut, the first thing you want to do is swoop in and make it all better. But here’s the truth: they don’t need you to fix it, not right away. What they need is space to feel.

Getting cut is a loss, and like any loss, it comes with a wave of emotions – disappointment, anger, sadness, even embarrassment. If you rush in with phrases like, “It’s not a big deal” or “Everything happens for a reason,” you risk invalidating their feelings. Instead, try saying something like, “I know this hurts right now. I’m here when you’re ready to talk.”

This approach creates a safe space for them to process their emotions without feeling pressured to “get over it” too quickly. Remember, your role isn’t to fix the problem but to be their anchor in the storm.

Step 2: Reframe the Narrative

Once your athlete has had time to process their emotions, it’s time to help them reframe the story. This is where the magic happens.

Instead of letting them see themselves as a victim of circumstance, empower them to take control of the narrative. Ask questions like:

“What do you think this is teaching you?”

“Where can we go from here?”

“How can we use this as fuel to get better?”

Remind them that getting cut doesn’t define them as an athlete or a person. It’s just a moment in time, a challenge they can learn from. Share stories of athletes who turned setbacks into comebacks. Did you know Michael Jordan was cut from his high school team? That rejection fueled him to become one of the greatest basketball players of all time.

This is your athlete’s chance to decide how they’ll respond. Will they let this moment defeat them, or will they use it as a launching pad for growth?

Step 3: Build a Comeback Plan

Once your athlete is ready to move forward, it’s time to create a plan. This step is all about taking control of what they can control.

Start by helping them identify their goals. Do they want to try out for the team again next season? Are they interested in exploring other sports or opportunities? Whatever their path, break it down into actionable steps.

Here are a few ideas to get started:

• Skill Development. If there were specific skills that held them back, now’s the time to work on them. Consider hiring a private coach or joining a training program.
• Mental Training. Often, getting cut has less to do with physical ability and more to do with mindset. Help your athlete build mental toughness by focusing on confidence, resilience, and the ability to bounce back from mistakes.
• Explore Other Options. Maybe this is an opportunity to try something new. Another sport, a club team, or even a different activity altogether could open doors they never expected.

The key is to help your athlete see that this isn’t the end; it’s a chance to grow, learn, and come back stronger.

What NOT to Do

While it’s tempting to step in and “fix” the situation, there are a few things you should avoid:

• Don’t Confront the Coach. It’s natural to feel angry or defensive, but going to the coach to argue the decision rarely helps. Instead, encourage your athlete to advocate for themselves by asking for feedback on how they can improve.
• Don’t Minimize Their Feelings. Phrases like “It’s not a big deal” or “You’ll get over it” can make your athlete feel like their emotions don’t matter. Validate their feelings first, then help them move forward.
• Don’t Push Too Hard. While it’s important to encourage growth, pushing your athlete too hard too soon can backfire. Let them set the pace for their comeback.

A Story of Resilience: Turning Disappointment into Triumph

Let me share a story that perfectly illustrates the power of resilience and the importance of mindset. This comes from a parent in the Elite Mental Game program, and it’s a shining example of how an athlete can turn a tough situation into a win.

Michelle’s daughter attended a high school basketball camp where the teams were divided into JV and varsity courts. Despite having played with the varsity team for most of the year, Michelle’s daughter was placed on the JV court with players from other schools. It was a blow, one that could have easily led to frustration, anger, or even giving up.

But here’s where the story takes a turn. Instead of shutting down, Michelle’s daughter channeled her disappointment into her performance. She played with high energy, positivity, and determination. Her team ended up winning the camp tournament, and she was even awarded a gift card for her outstanding attitude and effort.

One coach noticed her ability to bounce back and praised her reset routine, a mental strategy she had learned through the Elite Mental Game program. This coach pointed out that her resilience and positivity made her stand out, adding those qualities to her list of strengths.

This is the power of choosing to be the narrator of your story rather than the victim. Michelle’s daughter could have easily said, “I don’t belong here,” or “This isn’t fair.” But instead, she decided to make the most of the situation. She focused on what she could control – her effort, her attitude, and her mindset – and turned a tough moment into a triumph.

The Bigger Picture: Life Lessons Through Sports

One of the most beautiful things about sports is that they mirror life. The highs, the lows, the wins, the losses – they all teach us something about ourselves and how we navigate the world. Getting cut from a team is no different. It’s not just about sports; it’s about life.

This moment can teach your athlete invaluable lessons:

• Resilience. Life is full of challenges, and how we respond to them defines us. This is their chance to build mental toughness and learn how to bounce back.
• Self-Advocacy. Encouraging your athlete to ask for feedback from the coach or seek out new opportunities teaches them how to advocate for themselves – a skill that will serve them well in school, work, and relationships.
• Growth Mindset. Instead of seeing failure as a dead end, they can learn to see it as feedback. What can they improve? What can they learn? This mindset shift is a game-changer, not just in sports but in every area of life.

How to Support Your Athlete’s Mental Game

While physical skills are important, the mental side of sports is often what sets great athletes apart. Here are a few ways to help your athlete strengthen their mental game:

• Teach Them to Reframe Mistakes. Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, encourage them to view them as opportunities to learn. A missed shot or a lost game isn’t the end – it’s a chance to grow.
• Focus on What They Can Control. Help them identify what’s within their control (effort, attitude, preparation) and let go of what’s not (the coach’s decision, other players’ abilities).
• Build a Snapback Routine. A snapback routine is a quick mental reset athletes can use to bounce back from mistakes or setbacks. It could be as simple as taking a deep breath, shaking out their arms, and refocusing on the next play.
• Celebrate Effort, Not Just Results. Praise their hard work, dedication, and perseverance, not just their wins or achievements. This helps them value the process, not just the outcome.

When to Consider Mental Training

If your athlete struggles with confidence, resilience, or handling pressure, it might be worth exploring mental training programs. These programs, like the Elite Mental Game, are designed to help athletes build the mental skills they need to thrive, both on and off the field.

Mental training isn’t just for elite athletes; it’s for anyone who wants to improve their mindset and performance. Whether it’s learning how to stay calm under pressure, bounce back from mistakes, or stay motivated during tough times, these skills are invaluable.

A Message to Parents: You’re Not Alone

Watching your athlete get cut is tough. It’s heartbreaking to see them face disappointment, especially when you know how hard they’ve worked. But here’s the truth: you’re not alone, and this moment doesn’t define their journey.

Your role isn’t to shield them from every hardship, it’s to help them navigate it and grow stronger. Take care of yourself, too. Process your emotions through talking, journaling, or simply giving yourself grace. You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.

Remember, even the greatest athletes faced rejection. What set them apart wasn’t just talent – it was resilience and the refusal to let failure define them.

Your athlete has that same potential. This moment, as painful as it is, can be the start of something incredible. It’s a chance to grow, learn, and come back stronger.

Take a deep breath. The comeback starts now. You’ve got this. And we’re here to cheer you on every step of the way.

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] The Heartbreak of Rejection. Addressing the tough situation of an athlete getting cut or rejected from a team. This episode is for parents dealing with this challenge right now.

[00:01:06] Inspiration from Other Athletes. Reminder that even great athletes like Michael Jordan have experienced being cut. It’s not the end of the world and can be a launching pad for growth.

[00:01:52] A Success Story. Sharing a success story from a parent in the Elite Mental Game program, highlighting how her daughter turned disappointment into motivation and success.

[00:04:00] Step 1: Emotional Space. Give your athlete space to feel and process their emotions. Avoid rushing to fix the situation or pushing a “bright side” message too soon.

[00:05:25] Parental Intervention Warning. Caution against parents intervening with coaches. Instead, encourage your athlete to advocate for herself if she has questions.

[00:06:25] Step 2: Narrative Shift. Reframe the narrative. Help your athlete see this as a learning opportunity and not a defining moment of her worth as an athlete.

[00:08:37] Step 3: Comeback Strategy. Build a comeback plan. Help your athlete identify what’s in her control and explore options for moving forward.

[00:09:47] Mental Game Importance. Emphasize the importance of mental game training alongside physical skills development.

[00:11:00] Recap and Encouragement. Recap of the three main steps: Be a safe space for processing emotions, reframe the narrative, and build a comeback plan.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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