As a sports parent, you’ve probably wondered what you can do to keep your child motivated and engaged in sports without pushing too hard.

The journey of raising an athlete is full of highs and lows, and finding that balance can feel like an Olympic feat. I had the chance to unpack this complex dynamic with Asia Mape, founder of I Love to Watch You Play, in a recent episode of the Raising Elite Competitors Podcast. Asia’s insights as a three-time Emmy-winning sports journalist, former Division I athlete, and mom of three daughters (two of whom are Division I athletes) bring a wealth of wisdom to the world of sports parenting.

Here’s what we covered: how to prevent your child from quitting sports, what to do when they lose interest, and how parents can show up in a way that supports their child’s confidence and mental health.

The Power of “I Love to Watch You Play”

The phrase “I love to watch you play” is iconic in the sports parenting world, and it’s more than just words. Asia explained its origin and why it’s so impactful:

“The one thing that kids really want to hear after the game is just, ‘I love to watch you play.’ There’s no expectation, there’s no, ‘You did this right. You did this wrong.’ There’s no the kids needing either approval or disapproval from us. It’s just so simple and so perfect and really what the only thing that we need to be saying to our kids after they play, after they do almost anything,” Asia said.

This simple phrase removes pressure and allows kids to feel supported no matter how they perform. But Asia was quick to remind parents that while this ideal is something to strive for, it’s okay to not always feel that way inside.

“Sometimes you’re like, ‘Oh, why didn’t she…,’ but I think that like, I struggle with that. I think most parents struggle with that, but it is such a beautiful ideal that we all should be striving for and saying more often than not.”

What to Do When They’re Disappointed

One of the trickiest moments as a sports parent is navigating your child’s disappointment. Whether they’re upset about a bad game or missed opportunities, your instinct might be to jump in with solutions. However, the most effective approach is to let your child take the lead.

Asia says, “Ask them what they want from you. Do you want it? Are you asking for my opinion on what I saw? Even if, are you ready to hear things? Like it’s asking them.”

Listening actively can create a safe space for your child to process their emotions. Instead of rehashing the game or offering unsolicited advice, let your child vent or reflect on their own terms. If they ask for your input, keep it constructive and focus on the bigger picture rather than the specifics of a single game.

This approach not only strengthens trust, but also teaches your child the value of self-reflection and resilience.

When Your Child Wants to Quit

One of the most resonant parts of Asia’s journey is her reflection on her daughter quitting water polo, a sport she was once passionate about. Asia shared, “She dreamed of playing in college, being on an Olympic team. But at some point, her interests changed. She fell in love with art, and we just weren’t listening.”

This experience was a turning point for Asia, who realized the importance of tuning in to her child’s needs rather than her own expectations.

“If their unhappiness is clear and consistent for a long time, you need to listen and make a change. It’s not about following every whim but recognizing when something isn’t right for them anymore,” Asia said.

She also advised against framing a child’s decision to quit as laziness. “Their interests change, and that’s okay,” she added.

Kids are constantly evolving, and their interests can change. The key is to assess whether their desire to quit is a temporary reaction to stress or a genuine shift in priorities. If your child consistently expresses unhappiness or shows signs of burnout over an extended period, it may be time to explore alternatives.

Parents should also be mindful of how their own expectations might influence their child’s decision. It’s easy to project our dreams or ambitions onto our kids, but their journey should ultimately reflect their passions, not ours.

How to Prevent Burnout and Quitting

Burnout is a growing issue in youth sports, often fueled by the pressure to specialize early or train excessively. To counteract this, parents can create an environment that prioritizes balance and well-being over performance.

“If they’re young and feeling tired, skip practice one day and get ice cream instead. Listen to them,” she said.

Asia also highlighted the dangers of early specialization and overtraining. “We’re creating these incredible 15- and 16-year-old athletes, and their bodies break down. It’s a race to nowhere,” she warned.

Instead, she encouraged parents to think long-term and prioritize their child’s overall well-being over short-term gains. Allowing your child to take occasional breaks or skip a practice for something fun can reinvigorate their love for the game. It sends the message that their happiness and health matter more than sticking to a rigid schedule.

Preparing Yourself as a Sports Parent

One of the most actionable insights Asia shared was the importance of regulating yourself as a parent before games. She called this the “drive to the game” preparation, both literal and metaphorical.

“You bring yourself to the game, your bad day, your past experiences, your fears. The hour before the game is crucial to prepare yourself to choose calm over chaos, presence over distraction, and encouragement over criticism,” Asia said.

She suggested using mindfulness techniques and self-reflection to show up as a supportive, balanced presence on the sidelines.

“When we criticize our kids, they don’t get mad at you or they don’t hate you. They hate themselves,” she reminded parents. “It’s about showing up with grace, love, and compassion, no matter what happens during the game.”

The Role of Parents in Confidence Building

Parents play a significant role in shaping their child’s confidence, both on and off the field. The way you respond to your child’s successes and failures sends powerful messages about their worth and potential.

By focusing on effort rather than results, you can help your child build a growth mindset. For example, instead of praising a goal or a win, acknowledge the hard work and determination that led to those achievements. This approach teaches your child that their value isn’t tied to specific outcomes.

It’s also important to create an environment where your child feels safe to take risks and make mistakes. When kids know they won’t be judged harshly, they’re more likely to push themselves and embrace challenges.

Long-Term Benefits of Supportive Parenting

The lessons your child learns through sports go far beyond the playing field. They’ll carry these experiences into other areas of their life, from school to relationships to their future career. As a parent, you have the power to shape these experiences in a way that fosters resilience, confidence, and a lifelong love of learning.

Even if your child doesn’t pursue sports at a high level, the skills they develop – teamwork, perseverance, and the ability to handle pressure – will serve them well in every aspect of their life.

Final Thoughts

Raising an athlete isn’t about perfection; it’s about practice – for both the parent and the child. The journey is long and filled with ups and downs, but it’s also an incredible opportunity to grow together.

Whether your child is just starting their sports journey or nearing the end, your role as their parent is to be their steady, supportive presence. Listen, adjust, and always remember that it’s their journey, not yours.

For more of Asia’s insights and resources, check out her website, I Love to Watch You Play, and follow her on social media for regular tips and updates. As sports parents, we’re all learning together, and the more we practice, the better we’ll get at showing up for our kids in the way they need.

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Introduction. I introduce today’s episode and our special guest, Asia Mape, founder of I Love to Watch You Play. If you’re a sports parent – whether you’re just starting or have been through multiple seasons – this episode is for you!

[00:01:13] Shout-Out to a Mom in the Community. Sharing a win from a mom in the Elite Mental Game program. Her daughter used tools from the program to navigate a hockey tournament, reminding us of the two key pieces: what we do as parents and the skills our athletes develop to build confidence.

[00:02:42] Meet Asia Mape. Asia’s impressive background as a three-time Emmy-winning journalist, former D1 athlete, and mom of three daughters sets the stage for her expertise in improving the youth sports experience.

[00:05:00] The Power of “I Love to Watch You Play”. Asia explains the origin of this iconic phrase, how it reflects unconditional support, and why it’s the only thing kids need to hear after a game.

[00:07:39] Balancing Support and Critique. Asia shares personal struggles as a mom and emphasizes the importance of saying, “I love to watch you play,” even when it’s hard to feel that way inside.

[00:09:26] What to Say When They’re Upset. Asia reminds us to listen when kids are disappointed after a game. Instead of offering solutions, ask them what they need in that moment.

[00:13:07] The Story of Quitting Sports. Asia gets real about her daughter’s decision to quit water polo and the lessons it taught her about listening, adapting, and supporting her child’s changing interests.

[00:16:04] Signs It’s Time to Reevaluate. Asia highlights the impact of ignoring clear signs of unhappiness in sports, explaining how it can harm a child’s mental and physical well-being.

[00:19:00] Preventing Burnout. Taking breaks, listening to your child, and thinking long-term are essential steps to keeping kids engaged in sports without overtraining or pushing too hard.

[00:22:16] Balancing Sports and Life. Asia and I dive into how prioritizing family values and being flexible can help kids stay in love with their sport while avoiding the trap of comparison.

[00:25:16] Preparing Yourself Before the Game. I love Asia’s concept of the “drive to the game”, both literal and metaphorical. It’s all about getting yourself mentally ready as a parent to show up calm, present, and supportive.

[00:29:57] Your Energy Affects Their Performance. Asia and I discuss how kids mirror our energy. Staying calm and confident on the sidelines helps them play better and feel more secure.

[00:32:16] Parenting Is a Practice. Asia reminds us that no parent is perfect, but the goal is to keep trying, learning, and showing up better each time.

[00:33:26] Resources from Asia. Asia shares how parents can access her blog, social media content, and newsletter for more tools and insights on navigating the youth sports journey.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes

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