There is no manual on how to be a sports mom. Your female athlete may receive extensive coaching, but how many coaches do we as mothers receive to assist our daughters?
Female athletes go through a lot of phases. The most common situation that they’re going to face is having a hard time coming back from mistakes. A lot of athletes beat themselves for those mistakes. They focus on the one mistake and it goes downhill from there. Navigating the obstacles that your daughter faces as an athlete is difficult.
What kind of mom can navigate through these challenges?
Today, I’m going to share with you these two types of sports moms and help you figure out where you fit in between the two.
I’m going to talk about what these two moms do and how they approach these very common issues that their athlete daughters face.
Winging It, Wendy
“Winging it Wendy” is the kind of mom that knows that her daughter needs to be confident and just tells her “be confident” before the game starts.
She’s the kind of mom that says everything to make her daughter feel better by assuring her. She says things like-
“Hey, everyone makes mistakes”
“Remember all of the good things that you did”
“Stop focusing on the negative”
“Stop being so hard on yourself.”
She is also the kind of mom that goes to Google and searches social media for things to help build her daughter’s confidence. She forces what she finds in her daughter’s routine and tries to coach her.
“Winging It Wendy” tries hard even though her daughter disapproves of the methods she found.
Game Changer, Gabby
“Game Changer, Gabby” is the type of mother who initiates genuine conversations with her daughter. She inquires about her daughter’s goals and challenges, and they communicate effectively. What she discusses with her daughter, her daughter discusses with herself.
They have open conversations about what they need from each other before, during, and after the game. There is an understanding of what she needs to do for her daughter as well as what her daughter requires from her mother.
Some of Gabby’s strategy includes:
a. Personalized Game-Plan
This mother has developed her personalized game plan for before, during, and after the competition. She has a very specific game plan that she knows works well for supporting her daughter before she plays. It could be a specific phrase that she knows works well for her daughter before she goes out to compete. It could also be physical things, such as a hug, handshake, or any routine they share.
She employs research-based strategies during and after competition to help facilitate those difficult conversations in the car on the way home. She is prepared with the appropriate words to say and questions to ask her daughter.
Listening to what her daughter requires from her creates a positive and safe environment for her daughter. This makes female athletes feel more at ease and confident in their abilities.
b. Develops Her Own Confidence
This type of mother also models and develops her confidence to be a role model for her daughter.
Moms have a large influence on their daughters’ environments. Your daughter picks up on a lot of your confidence, and hers is an extension of yours.
“Game Changer Gabby” is the kind of mom that pursues her objectives. She is very dedicated to her daily routine. She’s committed to how she’s presenting herself and what she’s saying about herself out loud. As a result, she’s modeling it, and her daughter is catching on.
c. Provides Opportunities
Finally, she is extremely proud to see her daughter doing her own work to improve her mental game. She has given her daughter opportunities to improve her mental game and her daughter is doing the work. She isn’t forcing it on her daughter, but she is allowing her the chance to learn and develop the skills she needs.
She is simply at peace with her daughter’s athletic journey, and it is a much more enjoyable process. It adds to the enjoyment of this journey. Providing opportunities for her to develop her mental skills alleviates some of the stress associated with assisting her daughter through these difficult times.
Which Mom Do You Identify Yourself With?
What do you do when your daughter is struggling out there with things that every athlete struggles with: pressure, nervousness, making mistakes, feeling like she let the team down, and not knowing how to recover from mistakes?
If your daughter is going through these things, there is nothing wrong with her.
However, it is your responsibility as her mother to equip her with the necessary skills to navigate this.
If you’re “Winging it, Wendy,” you’re just winging it. You’ll go to Google. You’re simply telling her to be self-assured. You’re telling her to unwind. You’re telling her that everyone makes mistakes.
Here’s the thing: “Telling is not teaching.”
Your daughter needs to practice these skills to manage her emotions and achieve her goals. And, fortunately, your daughter has an opportunity right in front of her. If you haven’t already, go to trainhergame.com and look at the training where I go more in-depth with this.
“Winging It Wendy” literally means “winging it.” Because she takes a different approach, “Game Changer Gabby” changes the game for her daughter. She is not like other mothers who are winging it. She is very deliberate in her approach to her daughter. She is very deliberate about the opportunities she gives her daughter to improve her own mental game. She is very deliberate in what she says to her daughter. She is deliberate in what she says to herself aloud. And she’s very intentional in all of these areas, which changes the game for her daughter as well as their relationship.
Ask yourself today…
“Am I winging it and being Wendy?” If yes then, “How can I become more like Gabby?”
Strengthen her mental game and what you can do to support her, making sure you’re saying and doing things that will help her rather than just telling her to be confident.
- Join our FREE training for Sports Moms – How To Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game Without Being Pushy Or Saying The Wrong Thing.
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