#87: “Becoming the Mom She Needs” – How This Sports Mom Did It

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How do we become the moms that our female athletes need? Do we have to know everything about their sport? Is it enough to just tell them to have fun during the competition?

These are common and valid questions that moms would ask in their intent to support their athlete daughters. And by raising these questions, moms also made the first and most important step to be the parent that their daughters need.

We had the pleasure of interviewing Bonnie, a mom in our Elite Competitor Program, regarding her transformative experience of becoming the mom that her daughter Melissa needs. She has shared so many nuggets of wisdom and we are breaking these down for you.

Trust your daughter.

Remember that as a parent, your role is already chosen for you. You’re the mom who is your daughter’s main source of support. To do this, you have to trust your daughter that she knows what she’s doing as an athlete. Your daughter definitely has practiced, done preparations, and knows all the drills. Trust all these preparations because your daughter will definitely learn something in and out of the game. Trusting your daughter will show in your calm demeanor during the competition. And seeing you relaxed would enable your daughter to also feel relaxed and confident about herself.  

Focus on her improvement.

Mistakes will be inevitable whether in sport or in life. As a mom, you want to help and might be tempted to provide coaching. But what your daughter really needs for you is just your support and love. You can be proactive in asking her about the routines that she wants to improve on and whether she has achieved this in the recent game or not. By directing her focus to what she has improved on, you are also helping her navigate through the reality that mistakes are normal, and that she could learn something from them.

It’s okay if you don’t know anything about the sport.

There is a good side if you don’t know so many technicalities with the sport that your daughter is playing. Every time you attend a competition, you can be more focused on having fun and enjoyment watching her. When you give feedback to your daughter after her performance, you could always share positive affirmations that don’t highlight the mistakes she may have committed. After all, working on these mistakes will have to be done by her and her coach and not you.

It’s amazing to feel you’re on a team together.

Going through the Elite Competitor Program and then Dream Team gave us a common language. It put us on the same page, literally. We’ve both done the work and we both bring our tools and preparation to her competitions. Instead of relying on a coach or anyone else, we are able to rely on ourselves and each other. We’ve gotten closer and have so much fun together.

Realize that only your daughter can change herself.

As a mom, sometimes you want to direct your daughter to do some activities or practices. You provide opportunities for her to embrace and execute, but at the end of the day, you will still have to realize that your daughter’s response is outside your control. Only your daughter could put into action everything that she learned. Only your daughter can bring out the change that she wants. So instead of putting pressure on her, just create the opportunities and trust that she will embrace the good changes that she knows are right for her.

How has the Elite Competitor Program helped Bonnie & Melissa?

  1.   Building confidence at a young age

When Bonnie first heard about the program, she originally arranged it for her older daughter who was already an athlete at that time. But as it turned out, her schedule was already filled, so she decided to ask the younger daughter instead. It ended up as the best decision she made after witnessing her twelve-year-old athlete displaying changes as a person and as an athlete. She exudes a calm confidence in competitions, always looks forward to the next competitions, and even shares her mindset tools with her team, being a leader at a young age.

  1.   Being part of a bigger team

Bonnie also shared that, because the program is also working with different female athletes and their moms from other states, her daughter felt that she has an even bigger team supporting her. This knowledge built her confidence even more because she has realized that as an athlete, she has similar experiences and challenges to the other athletes in the program. She developed empathy and she also learned how to verbalize this empathy to her actual teammates outside the program.

  1.   Increased her confidence as a sports mom

Bonnie also talked about her newfound confidence every time she watches her daughter play. The program helped her to fully put confidence in her daughter’s preparations. Using the mindset tools she learned from the program, this mom’s perspective also changed. She was no longer tense or nervous Instead, she’s calm and enjoying her daughter compete.

  1.   Gained knowledge on how to show support

Because of the program, Bonnie learned to play her role correctly as a parent. She learned what words to say in a particular situation and how to respond whenever her daughter commits a mistake. She also felt more confident in her role as a mom, knowing and seeing that she can unlock her daughter’s potential and confidence by simply supporting her daughter’s interests.


Moms, there is no better way of saying how much your parental role truly matters in the growth of your daughter’s athletic career. The more that you can empower and support her, the more that she will build her confidence as an athlete. The Elite Competitor Program provides you with the tools you need to strengthen your daughter’s competitive advantage. But at the end of the day, your presence and support are her inspiration to use the tools that are available for her. I hope this was helpful and always remember that your daughter’s mental game is her biggest competitive advantage.


Helpful Links:

  • Join The Elite Competitor Waitlist – we’re opening the doors mid-July
  • Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group – The Elite Competitor Society – for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!

The BEST way to help us spread the word and get this information into the hands of millions of parents, coaches, and female athletes is by leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission!

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