Are you worried about your daughter’s motivation this summer? Or, wondering what you can do to keep your athlete motivated and focused?
Summer is upon us! There will be more freedom in schedules, longer days, and vacations.
But when it comes to helping your athlete daughter stay motivated— summer can be tricky!
Here’s what I’m hearing from our community:
“My daughter wants her “summer” and fun time – but she also needs to work on her sport!
It’s hard to motivate her in the summer – she doesn’t seem to want to do anything extra.
I totally get this struggle! You worry about her getting out of shape or getting behind because she doesn’t put in the extra effort. You don’t want her to fail or feel bad about herself. So, what’s the right thing to do this summer to help your female athlete?
Here’s my #1 tip for all the sports moms this summer!
Let it be HER summer
Take the pressure off. Let her lead. If she’s craving a break from the grind, then she probably needs it.
When we go into this summer season— things will look a little different from her usual routine. She’s maybe not practicing every single day. Maybe practices are optional. There may be some workouts with her team, camps or clinics, or college showcases, but it’s not the same grind that she’s used to where she goes to school and practice. It’s different then where the plan and schedule are all laid out for her.
Summer is different. There’s a different flow and a different vibe to it. And it’s really hard to stay motivated if she does not have someone telling her what to do all the time.
But if you are the one that’s telling her what to do all the time, that’s going to turn into a power struggle.
What you can do first— is realize where she’s coming from.
She’s going into summer. She probably wants a little bit of a breather.
So, let it be her summer and let her be in the driver’s seat in this. If she’s in the driver’s seat, she is going to be so much more motivated.
If she has the freedom to create that balance and do a little of what she wants, she’s going to be way more motivated to do what she needs. There is a way to strike that balance herself.
Here are some tips to let it be her summer with a subtle nudge to suggest balance in her direction.
Tip# 1. Sit down with her
If she’s open to doing it, sit down with her and just get everything out.
“What do you want your summer to look like?”
Then let her talk, let her say what she wants to do. This helps to make her feel like this is her summer, instead of you taking control and telling her what to do.
Next, ask what’s going on with her team.
“Do you have practices?”
“ Are they mandatory?”
“Are they optional?”
Get it all out so that she can see the rough outline of her summer plans.
Tip #2. Schedule some fun
This is something we’ve talked about together with the Elite Competitor Program Moms.
It’s about scheduling the fun in her plans where it’s not heavily focused on her sport.
And I know that this can feel really hard, especially when you think that taking a break from the grind seems like she’s going to get behind. But I will tell you right now, it is going to help her mental health, physical health, and long-term enjoyment of her sport.
It’s proven in multiple research studies around “play and fun” and doing things that are “unstructured”. This actually helps her brain when she goes back into her sport. It helps her to be a better problem solver.
So, schedule that FUN in!
One of the moms in ECP had a great example of this. She suggested—
“We’re going to come up with a summer bucket list. 10 to 20 things that we want to do this summer that are fun.”
Then, maybe you can sneak in some mental training. You could suggest five minutes per day of meditation and see how she responds; maybe she’ll be open to it and find that enjoyable as well!
You only have a limited amount of summers left. When your daughter gets older, her summers are probably going to be more packed, with more requirements from her team and coaches, more social activities, etc. So, make some memories together now!
Tip #3. Release control
Release control a little bit; it’s her journey. Let her enjoy her sport, and she’ll be more successful in it.
In these six to eight weeks of summer, if she chooses to not train as much as she should, then let it be. Maybe she’ll get out of shape, but she’s going to learn a lot from that.
She might get disappointed. She might be frustrated. She might go into her season and be surprised that she’s not prepared as she thought she would be.
Don’t start telling her “I told you so”. It’s not productive.
Let her reflect on her own. Have it be her process where she’s learning to take ownership of the results of her actions, good or bad.
Those things are best learned from experience anyways.
Tip #4. Offer the opportunity to work on her mental game
Summer is also a great time for your daughter to be working on her mental game. There’s a lot of time and space during summer and it’s an amazing time for her to lay a foundation in her mental game as she goes into her season.
One mistake that I see a lot of parents make is they wait until their daughter is in her season and struggling before they offer her some mental training skills. And even though mental training, such as the Elite Competitor program, is still helpful in those situations, it is most effective when you give your daughter these skills before she’s struggling.
So, give her the opportunity this summer; hopefully she’ll take you up on it!
It is her journey to take
We’ve got to just let this be her journey and let her experience the rewards from working towards her goals, and the natural consequences that can come from not putting in the work.
Again, let it be her summer. Let her enjoy the parts of summer that are meant to be enjoyed. Yes. It is hard, but this is her journey, and she is learning. Release some of that control so that she’s getting ownership over the results of her actions.
If you’re trying to raise a confident, self-sufficient young woman— some of those skills need to come through letting her “fail”. So let it be her summer and let her be in the driver’s seat.
- Summer is also a great time to do ECP! We are working to bring you a summer session – make sure you’re on the waitlist at www.kristinabreanne.com/ecp.
- Download the free resources we’ve created for you
- Join us inside our FREE Facebook Group – The Elite Competitor Society – for weekly Q&A, periodic trainings and challenges, and the support of an amazing community of moms, coaches, and the men who partner with us!
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