#35: Developing Confidence in Your Athlete Daughter: 3 Things to Start Now

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Research tells us that a daughter’s confidence is closely tied to her mom’s confidence. 

Everything from what you think, say, and do can influence your daughter’s perception of herself. 

I don’t know about you, but this can feel really daunting to me! 

It’s most obvious when it comes to body image – 

What we say and do (even if it’s about ourselves), comes back to become our daughter’s inner self-talk. 

I’ll never forget when I saw the Dove commercial that compared a daughter’s comments about what she loves and hates about her body with what her mom loves and hates about her body. 

They were almost identical, even though the mom had not said anything about her daughter’s body!

It was the comments that she was making about her own body that left a huge impression on her daughter. 

At the end, the commercial said “The way a girl feels about her beauty…starts with how you feel about yours.”

This goes beyond her body image, though. 

It also impacts the way she shows up on the court/field. 

The way your daughter feels about her capabilities starts with how you feel about yours.

The way your daughter feels about her self-worth starts with how you feel about yourself. 

The way your daughter feels about her ability to overcome challenges starts with how you feel about yours. 

This might feel overwhelming; so, here are three things that you can focus on now:

1. Separate who she is from what she does

    1. Highlight her strengths beyond her accomplishments
    2. Outward vs Inward attention
    3. Don’t training your daughter to look externally for their validation. 
    4. Teach her to trust their own feelings and look internally for their validation. 

    2. Shape the environment (model by how you show up)

    1. Set a great example for her in your own self-talk, what you say about your body and abilities, and the habits you engage in daily. 
    2. We go deep into this in our 5 Day Building #RealConfidence Challenge for moms (kicking off January 24th!)

    3. Provide the opportunities 

    1. Surround with positive influences and mentors who will echo what you’re saying
    2. Provide her with chances to develop her confidence through programs, teams, opportunities
    3. The best thing is to equip her with the skills to navigate those challenges on her own and have a community of mentors, other inspiring athletes, and support she can count on
    4. When it comes down to it, you as her mom play an enormous role in your athlete daughter’s confidence both in how you shape the environment, but also in the opportunities you provide her. 

    Keep being what she needs, even if it feels like it’s not making a difference. 

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