“Ugh, I can’t do this!”

 “I always mess up in big moments.”

 “She’s so much better than me.”

If you’ve ever heard your daughter say something like this, you’re not alone. As a sports mom, you see her talent and potential, but you also know that the mental side of the game matters just as much as her skills. The challenge? Bringing up mindset training without her shutting down or feeling like you’re criticizing her.

The truth is, most athletes don’t have the skills to handle nerves, pressure, comparison, or mistakes because coaches don’t often teach these tools. But mindset training is a game-changer, and I’m going to show you three ways to introduce it to your daughter without nagging.

Show Her That the Best Athletes Do It

Teen athletes are way more likely to listen to someone they admire than to their parents. Instead of fighting it, use it to your advantage.

Find examples of top athletes who emphasize mindset training. Serena Williams, Simone Biles, and Steph Curry are just a few athletes who openly discuss their mental preparation. Simone Biles, for instance, worked with a sports psychologist to strengthen her mental game during the off-season. This preparation helped her navigate the intense pressure of Olympic competition.

A quick Google or YouTube search can pull up interviews, behind-the-scenes clips, and even TikToks where pro athletes share their mental training routines. For example, you might find videos of Steph Curry talking about his visualization techniques before big games, or interviews with Serena Williams discussing how she manages pressure during crucial matches.

If your daughter has a favorite athlete, look up how they handle pressure, setbacks, or big moments. You could say something like, “Hey, I just saw this interesting video of [favorite athlete] talking about how they prepare mentally before a big game. Want to watch it together?”

Connect It to Her Goals

Teens and tweens are motivated when they see a direct benefit to what they want, not what they think you want. Connect mental training to the goals your daughter has already shared with you.

Start by reflecting on the goals she’s mentioned. These could be performance-related, like making varsity or qualifying for a certain competition. Or they might be more personal, like feeling more confident on the field or enjoying her sport more.

Once you have a clear idea of her goals, you can help her see how mental training fits in. For example:

If her goal is to make varsity: “You know, making varsity isn’t just about physical skills. The coaches also look for players who can stay calm under pressure and bounce back from mistakes quickly. Mental training can help with that.”

If she wants to feel more confident: “I’ve been reading about how mental training can help athletes feel more confident in their abilities. It might be worth looking into if that’s something you’re interested in improving.”

You can also ask her curiosity-inducing questions like:

“What do you think makes the difference when it comes to achieving [her specific goal]?”

“How are you planning to prepare mentally for [upcoming big event]?”

“What do you think separates the top athletes in your sport from the rest?”

These questions can lead to productive conversations about the role of mindset in achieving her goals, without feeling like you’re lecturing or nagging.

Start Small with Quick Wins

If mental training feels like a lot of work, your daughter won’t be interested. The key is to start with something small and fun that can give her a quick win and spark her curiosity.

We’ve developed a quiz called “What’s Your Competitor Style?” It’s a fun, quick way for athletes to learn about themselves and get introduced to mental training concepts. After answering just seven questions, they get insights into their competitive style and learn how mental training ties into their game.

Here’s how you can introduce it: “Hey, I found this interesting quiz about different competitor styles in sports. It’s really quick – only seven questions. Want to take it and see what your result is? I’m curious to know if you think it’s accurate!”

After she takes the quiz, you can use her results as a starting point for discussion:

“That’s interesting that it says you’re a [quiz result]. Do you think that fits you? What parts do you agree or disagree with?”

“I noticed it mentioned [specific mental skill]. Is that something you’ve ever thought about working on?”

This quiz is a great way to spark her interest without overwhelming her. It’s low-pressure, fun, and gives her immediate insights she can reflect on.

Another way to start small is by introducing one simple mental training technique, like deep breathing or positive self-talk. You could say something like, “I read about this quick breathing exercise that some athletes use to calm nerves before a game. Want to try it out together before your next practice?”

Remember, the goal is to make mental training seem accessible, relevant, and even fun – not like a chore or something she “has to” do.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to nag your daughter into working on her mindset. Instead, show her that the best athletes do it, highlight how it gives her a competitive edge, and let her hear it from other athletes.

If you’re looking for an easy way to start the conversation, grab our Conversation Guide in the show notes. It’ll give you the tools you need to introduce mindset training in a way that makes her excited to try it, not resistant.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey! Keep encouraging her, and over time, she’ll start to see the power of mental training for herself.

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00:00] Introduction to the topic of helping daughters work on their mindset without nagging.

[00:00:36] Explanation of the podcast’s purpose: helping sports moms raise confident, mentally strong girl athletes.

[00:00:55] Discussion on the importance of mental training for athletes to deal with common challenges like nerves and pressure.

[00:01:46] Sharing of a success story: testimonial from Sheridan, an athlete who found success with the Elite Mental Game program.

[00:03:00] Strategy 1: Showing that mental training is what the best athletes do, using examples of professional and college athletes.

[00:06:13] Strategy 2: Connecting mental training to the athlete’s personal goals and aspirations in their sport.

[00:08:30] Strategy 3: Starting small with quick wins, introducing the “What’s Your Competitor Style” quiz as an engaging entry point.

[00:11:34] Information about the Elite Mental Game program, including a discount for podcast listeners and how the program helps with athlete buy-in.

[00:12:35] Recap of the three strategies discussed: showing that the best athletes use mental training, connecting it to her goals, and starting small with quick wins.

Next Steps:

• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms – How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do
• Visit our podcast website for more great episodes
• What’s Your Competitor Style Quiz

Thank you in advance for joining us on our mission and leaving a rating and review on Apple Podcasts.