Are you holding yourself back without even realizing it?

If you’ve ever played a game thinking, “I just don’t want to mess up,” you might be stuck in a mindset that limits your potential. There’s a huge difference between playing to win and playing not to lose – and that difference could be what’s keeping you from reaching your full athletic potential!

In this episode, let’s explore how a simple mindset shift can help you take smarter risks, enjoy your sport more, and perform at your best. Let’s unlock what it truly means to play to win!

What’s the Difference? Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Lose

Have you ever gone into a game or competition and found yourself thinking, “I just don’t want to mess up” or “I don’t want to lose”? That’s the mentality of playing not to lose. It’s rooted in fear, and it causes you to play cautiously, to hold back, and, ultimately, not perform at your full potential. You’re playing from a place of scarcity; afraid to make mistakes, afraid of the outcome.

Now, imagine instead walking onto the field or court and thinking, “I’m going for it! I’m going to take every opportunity, make smart plays, and give it my all.” That’s playing to win. This mindset is bold, aggressive, and comes from a place of confidence, where mistakes aren’t feared but embraced as part of the game. It’s about playing freely and focusing on doing your best.

Why Playing “Not to Lose” is Holding You Back

Playing not to lose can feel safe, but it actually limits your performance in several ways.

• It Holds You Back from Your Full Potential

When you’re afraid of making mistakes, you’re not taking risks. You’re passing the ball when you should shoot. You’re tipping the volleyball instead of going for a powerful swing. By playing it safe, you’re not giving yourself – or your team – your best effort. As athletes, it’s important to realize that holding back isn’t just about you, it affects your whole team. When you don’t play full out, you’re not giving your team everything you have to offer.

• It Increases Pressure

You’d think avoiding risks would make you feel less pressure, right? Actually, the opposite is true. By focusing on not messing up, you create even more pressure. You’re so worried about making a mistake that it makes you overly cautious, which increases anxiety and ultimately leads to mistakes.

I’ve been there. I played volleyball, and I remember going back to serve and thinking, “I just don’t want to miss.” Guess what? That cautious mindset would make me mess up even more. Trying to play it safe messes with your mechanics, and before you know it, you’re serving the ball straight into the net or out of bounds. The fear of making mistakes actually makes you more likely to make them!

• Hesitation Slows You Down

Playing not to lose leads to hesitation, which means slower reaction times. In fast-paced sports, you don’t have the luxury of hesitating. You need to be confident and decisive. When you’re hesitating, you’re missing opportunities, whether it’s going after a loose ball, making a quick pass, or taking a crucial shot. This hesitation can lead to missed chances and even more mistakes.

• It Stunts Your Growth

Making mistakes is part of learning and improving as an athlete. If you’re constantly avoiding risks, you’re not growing. Taking smart risks, even if they result in mistakes, is how you develop and get better. If you avoid these risks during practice or games, you can’t expect yourself to rise to the occasion in high-pressure moments like championship games.

Why You Should Play to Win

So, why is playing to win so much better? Here’s what happens when you shift your mindset to playing aggressively and confidently:

• You Take Smart Risks

Playing to win doesn’t mean you’re reckless; it means you take calculated risks. You go for the shot when you’re open, take that aggressive swing when you’re in position, and step up when the opportunity presents itself. Sure, there’s a chance you might make a mistake, but the rewards are far greater when you’re playing with confidence. And guess what? By playing it safe, you’re still likely to make mistakes – so why not go for it?

• You Perform More Consistently

When you’re playing to win, you’re more focused on your game and less on the outcome. Instead of worrying about the score or whether you’ll mess up, you’re in the moment, doing what you’ve practiced over and over. This mindset helps you perform more consistently because you’re trusting your training and instincts.

Think about it: You’ve practiced these skills a thousand times. You know what to do! When you’re playing to win, you’re more likely to rely on the training and muscle memory you’ve built, which leads to better performance.

• You Bounce Back from Mistakes Faster

One of the biggest fears athletes have is making a mistake. But here’s the truth: You are going to make mistakes. That’s part of being an athlete. The key is not in avoiding mistakes, but in how quickly you can recover from them.

We teach athletes a “snapback” routine in our program, which includes focusing on your breath, using a reset word, and making a reset gesture. This simple routine helps athletes refocus and move on from mistakes quickly. So, when you play to win, mistakes don’t derail you – they’re just part of the game that you can handle.

• You Have More Fun

Let’s not forget that sports are supposed to be fun! When you’re playing to win, you’re more relaxed, more confident, and more in tune with the reasons you play in the first place – the love of the game, the thrill of competition, and the bond with your teammates. Playing to win brings back the joy in your sport because you’re focused on what’s going well, not on what could go wrong.

What’s the Worst That Could Happen?

When you shift your mindset to playing to win, you realize something important: You have nothing to lose. We tend to build up moments in our heads, thinking that a mistake or a loss is the worst thing that could happen. But what if we reframe that?

The worst thing that could happen is you make a mistake, and guess what? You can bounce back from it. Maybe you get pulled from the game for a bit. That’s okay – you’ll get back in. Maybe your team loses the game. That’s not the end of the world. You’ll have another game, another chance.

Permission to Go for It

Here’s what I want you to take away from this: You have permission to play to win. Take risks. Make aggressive plays. Stop worrying about what could go wrong and start focusing on what could go right. What if everything works out? What if your team wins because you went for it?

You might make mistakes along the way, but you’re going to make them whether you play it safe or go all out. So why not go out swinging? Why not give your best effort and see what happens?

Final Thoughts

Athletes, as you head into your next practice, game, or competition, remember this: Play to win. Play with confidence. Take smart risks. And above all, have fun. You’ve put in the work, and now it’s time to trust yourself and go for it. You’ve got this!

Episode Highlights: 

[00:00] Playing to Win vs. Playing Not to Lose: Introduction and Shoutout to Madison

[02:13] Understanding the Mindset of Playing Not to Lose

[04:43] The Impact of Playing Not to Lose on Performance

[05:22] The Benefits of Playing to Win

[08:17] Embracing the Mindset of Playing to Win

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